Trigger Warning: Content contains passages about sexual violence.
Hey Jude, so it’s been a long time I’ve sent an ask here, but lately some stuff happened and I really need some advice. Last weekend I’ve been to a party and even though I didn’t drink a lot, I blacked out, and woke up naked in a public hallway with a guy I don’t even remember meeting.
I’ve taken all the medical precautions but am still struggling on calling it “rape”. I’m not usually the type of person to sleep around but I really don’t know what I’m feeling, it’s like everyone (that knows about it) tells me that it’s ok, that I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I literally don’t feel anything. Like I am under some anesthesia or smtg… anyways, I keep searching the internet about rape cases so I can relate and find out what am I feeling, and everything is about some kind of physical agression or a child that doesn’t understand, and I don’t really know how to find something related to what happened to me. I am very confused and sometimes I’m happy but sometimes I get depressed all day long without motive, more explosive and sensible… I keep telling myself it’s because of the pills and it’s hormonal pump, but maybe it’s related to this event?