My husband has been taking my tampons some gloves using socks screwdrivers wrenches pre roll containers tons of objects even our kids toys for his bum. And this has been a big issue as he is using things not normal some super big large creepy big even one shelf we have the poles are thick. Because I am upset about the porn masturbation how he calls me names puts me down he says he punishes himself that way but he seems to enjoy is and it won’t stop I don’t know what to do about the lies or threats to punch me or tell me to end my life or he hopes I get cancer or the fact he buys illegal substances then lied said he gave it away then had two bags of the stuff white powder coke. So like how do you deal with someone who lies, hides things, steals their own wives panties,likes literally steals them and hides them. Like he thinks I’m dumb. He even broke gear shift on car to use for his bum. Then I got punched when I tried to throw it away. He is now facing a fb for that but we have a kid he won’t let me leave with her. I have been pushed into walls thrown to the ground been in choke holds I am just not sure what to do anymore he also has a whole cabinent full of at least 200 alcohol bottles and we have only lived in our home three years so that’s excessive drinking. He won’t let me take my baby and stay elsewhere which would be safer for us both I feel stuck here. He wileighs 175 me 104 lost weight because of stress even my doctor said I am underweight. I used to be 120-125-130 healthier. His drug use and drinking and lying and doing weird crazy things is out of control he even took two of my prepaid cards and ripped chip out burned them and threw away the papers for them he took from my pockets and then to work and did that then took some of my shredded paper in the shredder to work and pooped in it and in jail he pooped on the walls. This man has major issues and is also abusive I feel like no one has dealt with someone to this extreme so what do I do how do I deal with this because I kept hoping he would change 4years later here we are and he is still doing odd weird disgusting things and keeps stealing from me and he also has thrown phones of mine and broke my laptop and the screen was not cheap to fix also broke our tv now our kid has nothing to watch except color and rub around the house and her few toys he hasn’t broke like he has broken his own daughters toys a chair and desk I got new at a store he broke within a week this is getting nuts. Then raised a fist at me though I have no proof of that and then he took my phone and deleted half the voice recording I have for proof. I am more concerned about my baby not being along with him I could leave but he won’t let me leave with my baby. She is 3. Any advice would be helpful thanks
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Hey love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I am sorry that you are going through this difficult situation.
I would first recommend contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline at this link: https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/. This organization can remove you and your baby from the household, and they can help you find housing once you have moved out. I would also recommend calling the police if you ever suspect your husband is going to be violent towards you or your baby; contacting the authorities is the best option for situations involving prolonged and violent domestic abuse.
You mentioned that his behavior has been consistent over the past few years, and that he is refusing to change. You should never feel trapped or obligated to endure such a horrific situation. Please understand that you are not alone, and that there are resources available to you. I have linked a website that contains some information about domestic violence support groups: https://www.alexandrahouse.org/support-groups/.
Speaking with other people who have endured similar situations could be healing. These kinds of groups provide a sense of community that could help you cope with the emotional trauma you’ve experienced.
I also wanted to provide a link for finding therapists near you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. Talking with a mental health professional is an effective way to process your stress and anxiety, and they can provide coping strategies to help you work through your emotional trauma.
Please be safe and remember to always prioritize your mental health. Please do not hesitate to reach out to Asking Jude again if you have any further concerns. Reaching out in the first place took courage, and we will always be here for you. You also may consider reaching out to close family or friends for help. Having a strong support system while dealing with emotionally challenging situations like this is vital to the safety of you and your child.
You will get through this.
Stay strong,
Jordan