So question, but its embarrassing. So I am a Pansexual girl(also 26).(maybe) (kinda) (I think) I like to be called a good boy during intercourse. Is that weird? Really I don't like sex that much and that seems to be the only way I can get to completion. Is something wrong with me? My dad has always called me his eldest son and my brother (he is gay) his elder daughter. My mom has always said "it's oKaY tO bE a GiRl!!" Am I just projecting?
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed about. Everyone is different when it comes to sex, and there are a variety of things that work for some, and not for others. I think that most people have that one thing they like that makes sex more enjoyable for them. This does not make you weird. There is also nothing wrong with you for liking what you like during sex. Here is some info on how diverse sex can be: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure. Here is a list of different types of kinks/fetishes. This shows how diverse people’s sexual tastes are: https://www.kinktest.org/list-of-kinks-the-definitions-of-most-commonpopular-kinks.html.
it is also completely okay if you are not sure how to label yourself. Some people need to label themselves to feel a sense of completion, while others do not. Also, remember that just because you label yourself as one thing, does not mean that is who you ave to be for the rest of your life. Sexuality is fluid. Give yourself room to grow and change along with your life. Here is some information about pansexuality that you might find helpful: https://www.them.us/story/pansexuality-101.
Your mom is right—it is okay to be a girl. It is also okay to be whatever gender you feel fits you best. It is also very important to be open and communicative with your partner about sex. It may feel a little awkward, or too person, but sex is a personal thing. You will be surprised at how many people admit to liking something that isn’t very common during sex. You may not always be understood, and that is okay, too. Remember, as long as you are not hurting yourself, or anyone else, what you like during sex is completely okay. Here are some important things that should be discussed with a sexual partner: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/sexual-health/talking-about-sex/. Please be safe out there, and be honest if something makes you uncomfortable or afraid. If you have anymore questions, you can always come back here.
Have fun!
Andrea
Hi there, Alex! I believe you sent the same submission to our Tumblr--which is completely fine! We are still answering asks on the Tumblr platform, but submissions on askingjude.org will take priority. We will answer your submission on here and as soon as possible!