I know I might sound weird but I need to get this of my chest . So I saw a post that said consent is always verbal and even for a kiss and after that whenever I see a scene in a book or movie I immediately think it's an assault . So can you help me understand this. And please don't judge me
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Don’t worry about your question. Your concern over consent is valid, and Asking Jude is happy to help clear any confusion you might have.
In the Oxford dictionary, the definition of consent is giving “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.” The post you read is correct: consent is verbal. Individuals in any situation can say yes, no, or whatever else conveys their opinion on an act. Consent can also be body language, especially with individuals in a serious relationship (like those married or in a relationship for a long time). That could include motioning to the bedroom or leaning in close for a kiss. Of course, verbal consent is the best way to know that all parties involved are willing and wanting members. This way, there is no room for guessing, error, or risk.
To help you continue researching, I have some resources that might come in handy:
All people have cues to express whether they consent to sexual intimacy. Characters in books and movies are the same. They’ll ask if their spouse wants to head upstairs or doubt-check that their partner is okay with taking the next steps in their relationship. All forms of consent in real life are transferable to books and screens.
However, there are some key factors to note. Books and TV romanticize things that the average person wouldn’t accept in real life. That includes acting on non-consent. Someone might hold onto another’s arm, refusing to let them go, and then force a kiss. So what might start as a heated fight turns into a night of passion. Consent and non-consent are dismantled to create drama for the audience. It's an unfortunate avenue that sells in today's market.
These are just a couple of possible examples that can be called into question as it can look like and is technically assault. The public often ignores those scenes because it’s fictional, and outside elements like background music, lighting, and internal monologues make them more appealing. If these scenarios make you uncomfortable, try keeping an eye out for warning labels that books, TV, and movies have for sensitive topics. You’ll be able to steer clear of them better.
In real life and fiction, consent is knowing that all individuals want to be a part of an action - including but not limited to kissing or having sex. That doesn’t change regardless of theatrics or elements of drama.
I hope this helps you with your question and your worries.