I am a bi girl (19) and up until a month ago I had never kissed anyone, been in a relationship or anything like that. So I got excited when a guy I met asked me out. I agreed to go out with him and we went out to a pub and had a few drinks, long story short I went back to his flat under the naive assumption we were gonna watch a movie like he said we were. We kissed and I told him I didnt want to go any further. He didn't listen and carried on, I told him I didnt want to, he kept pressuring me so I gave in and said yes. I dont want to go into details because I feel sick at even the thought. I hate myself for being weak and letting him do it, yet I can't blame him because I said yes. This is my fault. I havent been able to get over it, it was my first time and it was so awful and terrifying, all I wanted to do was go home. Since then the thought of even dating a guy makes me feel sick, I can't ever imagine myself in a relationship with a man after what happened, and I know not all men are like him. But still I'm afraid and its stupid because it wasn't like I was raped, it was just that he pressured me. I said yes so its my own damn fault. Now all I want to do is date girls yet I feel like I'm overstating my attraction to girls in order to avoid having to ever go near men again. Now I just tell people I'm gay, not bi to make them leave me alone. I just don't know what to do to be honest. How to I get over this ? Is it wrong of me to not want to date men? And is it wrong of me to tell men I'm gay to get them to stay away, when I know I'm bi?