So, I go through bouts of depression very often (They are separated by one or two good days). During these I find it hard to do simple tasks such as getting out of bed, and getting something to eat. School adds a whole new set of issues. I have to wake up way earlier than my body wants, and I have to make my way through seven periods of classes that physically and emotionally drain me. When I get home, I usually try to relax a little, and I tell myself that I will do the work later. I try so so hard to get it done, but my brain just doesn't cooperate with me most days. When I actually force myself to sit down and try to do it, it's like there is something stopping me from doing it. It is starting to really effect my grades, and every time I tell my mother what I'm feeling, she tells me I'm just making excuses. So, all that said, I really need some tips on how to get my work done
*Note, I do not have diagnosed depression, though I have been meaning to ask my doctor about it
Hi love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I feel you on this, there are many days when I feel the same way. You somehow feel like you have stepped out of your body, and someone else is controlling you. It feels as though someone has physically disabled your controls to your brain, and it is incredibly frustrating when you want to do work but there is something stopping you. It doesn’t help that the people closest to you do not believe you. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma around mental health and self-care and people often see our pleas for help as excuses.
An important skill I was taught in college was to create S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals for myself. You mentioned that your brain doesn’t cooperate but you force yourself to sit down and study. Instead of forcing it, try to understand your limits. Ask yourself how long you can work without taking a break and start, no matter how drained you feel. If you think you can do 10 minutes, record that as a goal and work for ten straight minutes. At the end of the 10 minutes, take a break and take a walk or get a snack for no longer than 15 minutes. Next time, if you feel up to it, set a goal of 15 minutes, then 5 extra minutes than your previous goal, then 20, and so on. If the extended period feels like a stretch, try to complete the last set goal. By setting small achievable goals, you get a boost of serotonin for completing your goals, but also you will be a lot more productive than you thought possible. If 15 minutes is the highest time increment you can get to before needing a break, that is alright. You are still doing more work than you would have done otherwise. If you can build yourself up to longer time period goals, that is even better.
While it might seem impossible, having small goals is scientifically shown to kick your brain into work mode as you feel satisfied and productive knowing that you are checking things off your list. Another technique you can try is the Pomodoro technique, where you work in increments of 25 minutes with 15 minute breaks.
I’m sure you have heard of people suggesting exercise and a balanced diet to help improve your mental health and it may seem like very unhelpful advice. However, exercise fills you with endorphins and modifies your brain to a more positive state, so try exercising if you can find the energy. Meditate. Be self-aware and in the moment, and it may help you get out of your mind block or at least shake it a little loose when you are experiencing a depression bout. Focus on your self-care. Set a routine. I personally have a productivity music playlist I made myself on Spotify that I listen to every time I’m in need for a productivity and motivation boost. After playing it a couple of times while working, my brain now kickstarts into work mode when this music starts playing. Find what makes you feel strong and productive, and either do that before you start working or incorporate it into your study routine. More often than not, your brain will make the connection between the two and greatly increase your productivity.
As far as your parents thinking this is an excuse for not completing your work, it's unfortunate that they do not fully understand what you are going through. Try to explain to them what you are feeling, but also try to find yourself people who believe you and support you. You need a support circle, and you also need people who can hold you accountable. Accountability partners can also play a huge part in getting work done if you are lacking motivation, so let your friends know what you are feeling.
It was mentioned that you have not been diagnosed with depression, but that does not make your experience or your feelings any less valid. I do agree that you should talk to a mental health professional about what you are going through. It might also be valuable to talk to your school counselor about your situation, especially since you said your grades are struggling at the moment. School counselors have been known to make arrangements with teachers to help you improve your grades or do better in school if you just talked to them about what’s happening. I understand how hard it is to open up and how you may feel hesitant, but I don’t foresee any negative outcomes from telling a doctor and/or your school counselor.
Here are some resources that might help you further:
-https://www.mystudylife.com/
-https://www.pixelthoughts.co/
-https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mylife-meditation-mindfulness/id778848692
-https://d3mh72llnfrpe6.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/09210135/asw-english.pdf
-https://www.mhanational.org/time-talk-talking-your-parents
-https://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx
I truly hope this helps, and please let me know if you have any other questions or anything else you would like to share!
Wishing you all the best,
Manisha