How can I think of myself as a good person and allow myself to experience good things, if I have done something horrible to my partner , breaking his trust and making him think about that all the time, almost leaving his mind even after months, essentially giving him ptsd, because every cute or lovey or couple-y thing he sees reminds him of us and me..... He didn't physically assault me, and he is very sorry when things like that accidentally happen, but he slapped me right after he found out and one time when we were discussing about it, he threw my half eaten hot dog in the trash and .. I'm used to ppl being mean to me, so it didn't really affected me, but stil :c It's okay if u feel too pressured to answer this, u don't have to, but I would appreciate it because I don't have the money, guts and anonymity to ask a therapist (at least at the moment) For context, what I did was sexting with a guy, even sending him photos of my naked body, something sacred, that only he should have seen in all of our lives..... and complain about stuff I didn't like about him to a friend, because I wanted someone to agree with me when he would get angry at something I did or did not, but now I know he said those things because he wants (or wanted...) us to grow and get better together:C Thank u <3 Also, sorry for the long ask:<
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Hi love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I appreciate your openness in sharing your situation with me. Rebuilding trust with a partner and working through the aftermath of complicated situations like this can be challenging. Self-reflection and honest communication are the most important things to practice moving forward.
While it’s evident that you’ve reflected on the past and understand the consequences of your actions, you should still continue this path of self-reflection to better understand the motivations behind your choices. It’s important that you acknowledge your mistakes, and that you take responsibility for your actions and ultimately learn and improve from them.
Having an open-minded and honest conversation with your boyfriend will help rebuild a foundation of trust in your relationship. Sitting down and explaining your side of the situation, specifically what motivated you to do these things, can help your boyfriend put your actions into perspective. Sharing your reflections and listening to each other’s feelings and concerns without judgment can help you and your partner grow.
Try to forget your sense of pride and genuinely apologize to him. Showing remorse for your actions, and showing that you are willing to make amends with him, can help rebuild the trust in your relationship. Using this experience as an opportunity for personal growth is also important. If you understand the root causes of your actions, you can explore healthier ways to cope with challenges that may arise in the relationship.
Rebuilding trust and mutual respect is a slow process. It may take time for your relationship to recover, so practicing patience in your efforts is crucial.
Here are some links that contain tips on how you and your partner can rebuild trust: https://www.therelationshipcentre.ca/betrayal-8-steps-to-healing-broken-trust/; https://www.verywellmind.com/rebuild-trust-in-your-marriage-2300999.
Everyone makes mistakes; it is what makes you human. What matters now is how you choose to grow from them. Try to always prioritize your mental and physical well-being, and consider talking to a trusted friend or family member for support during this time.
Thank you again for reaching out to Asking Jude. I hope that some of this information was helpful, and please do not hesitate to reach out again if you have any further questions.
Best of luck,
Irene