Hey there,

Thank you so much for sharing with me. I suggest that you tell your friends that you have something important to say and need them to hear you. Begin talking and if they don’t listen to you, then call them out on it. Remember that true friends always give as well as take and should always be there for their friends. Ask them if they are aware that they do this to you and if they aren’t, then ask them if they are willing to help you more. Maybe your friends are really struggling with their own problems and haven’t gotten the chance to focus on anything else. If they are aware that you are trying to ask for help and they simply don’t want to listen and don’t care about what you have to say, then they are not true friends and you should not be friends with those who are not invested into helping one another out.

None of your friends should make you feel that your voice and concerns are not important or valued. Let them know that it is your turn to say something and for them to listen. Your situation is common among friend groups and in which one feels like they are constantly helping the others and not having the chance to be the one helped. I know that it can be difficult opening up and having the people around you listen--especially when everyone is practically glued to their phones and screens. Just the other day, I was trying to have a conversation with my sister and she was scrolling through her phone while I was talking and I had to say, “Hey! I’m talking” so that she knew to put her phone down.

It sounds kind of harsh to just break up with your friends if they don’t seem to listen to you. You may have known these people your whole life or maybe a few weeks but they are still your friends, right? However, you need to remember that bottling things up and faking your happiness is not good for your mental health. You should be surrounded by supportive people who can put down their phone to stop and pay attention when you ask for it. If they can’t do this then they are not your friends and you can move on to find better ones.

Whatever concerns you have, I wish you get the help you deserve. If at any time you have something to say, I’m more than happy to hear you completely. In the meantime, I’ve gathered some additional resources and articles for you to read if you choose to:

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/dont-keep-bad-listeners-as-friends

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/f/friendship-and-mental-health

http://www.mikebechtle.com/why-wont-people-listen-to-me/

http://voicematters.com/leadership-development/have-you-noticed-why-no-one-listens-to-you/

Best,

Jennie