Before me and my partner got together he was dating my ex best friend (who I was friends with at the time) and she would tell me the things he said- how he hated me and was disgusted with me and my body and all this crap. he claims he finds me attractive, he claims he loves me but I struggle believing it because of this. hes also a feeder/feedee and into that fetish Which I participate in for him (I do enjoy it too) but on tumblr I see his likes all the time and the people he’s liking photos of and getting off too look so different from my body and seeing that makes me think that mabye he still is disgusted with my body and that never changed. I’m not an attractive kind of fat (As much as people want to say all sizes are attractive their is a standard for fat people of what’s attractive just like with skinny people) and I worry that I’m just ugly and not good enough for him because I am the unattractive kind of fat- and if that is the case then that means he doesn’t actually love me and is just using me for sex and I’m waiting for the day that he will tell me that. Idk what to do to stop these thought. Idk if they are true and it’s my guts way of telling me. i feel stuck and depressed and like their is nothing i can do to change this feeling
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@Iammeandyouareyou, are you interested in Asking Jude's pay-what-you-can live peer counselling service? This is a remote counselling service that can be accessed via phone, video call, or text messaging. Our peer counsellors are all personally trained by me to handle unique and complex cases. It's completely flexible to fit your needs too: You can choose how often you would like to meet with your counsellor and pay as much (like $100) or as little (like $1) as you like as well!
If you are interested, feel free to reach out to me at jude@askingjude.org or simply respond to this thread for more details.