Hey Jude. Whenever i talk about this with somebody they dont understand me. What has been happening is that i have been completley forgeting my identity for long periods of time, even my name. I would be scrolling through my phone, or going on a walk and all of a sudden my mind goes blank and i cant even remember who i am. I know that certain images trigger it. It has become so much of a problem that I had to create a note in my phone of all my details like my name, age, etc. Is this normal?
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Hi there,
This situation sounds incredibly scary and isolating. I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to gain support yet. From the way you are talking about it, this has become an incredibly disruptive force in your life. I can’t give you a diagnosis, but it sounds like you may have a dissociative disorder, especially because you have specific triggers. This is not something that you can treat on your own, and something more serious may be going on. I don’t mean to alarm you, but it is important to bring this situation to a professional. Getting a diagnosis may also help you to be able to communicate with others about what you are experiencing more effectively.
I recommend that you speak to your doctor about this situation. They may be able to help you rule out any more serious medical issues, and they will understand your history so that they will be able to get a good idea of what may be going on. This will not be like the conversations that you attempted in the past about what is going on. Dissociative disorders, amnesia, and other conditions that affect your memory are legitimate medical conditions that your doctor will take seriously. Because of this, they will be able to empathize with your situation and want to do what they can to help you as soon as possible.
The combination of your functioning and the distress that it causes means that a therapist could also be helpful. A therapist may be able to help diagnose you. Most importantly, though, they will be able to help support you in this difficult situation. They can help you identify your triggers better, give you coping mechanisms, and help you discuss this problem with loved ones. Here are some ways that you can search for therapists:
https://openpathcollective.org/
https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Seeking out help can be incredibly stressful and daunting but also incredibly helpful. You will understand what is happening to you, and you may even be able to stop it. I hope that you can get to the bottom of this as soon as possible.
Best wishes,
Mikaela