& just said they want to get out of the house just so they don’t have to see me I’m just so tired. I just want parents that love me. I just want someone to love me. I fucked up so bad. What did I do to deserve this??? My own mother hates me & my step father agrees with everything she says. My dad, who lives across the country, hates me as well and I don’t know what to do. I’m only 15
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damn. My parents loves me(somewhat), but when I try to stand my ground against him, he just starts talking behind my back to his friends/wife(my mom). My mother is different. She used to be hella toxic. I was locked in a basement in the previous house we lived in. She would grab a piece of wood and literally spank the hell out of me. Later after like 1 year or more, she made me pack my things in a suitcase and leave. I cried my way through that and managed to stay probably from getting in her soft spot. They always get in fights or shitty arguments like: "The soap. Get the soap!" "Where is it I can't see it! " "You're so dumb. I shouldn't have married you. I'm going to move into *country she lived in previously. I don't want to see your face anymore." Right now I'm 13 years old. 2 years younger than the guy earlier. I have this level of thinking(not childish whatsover or is it just me) because of all of these events barging into my life. Whoever reads this, I hope that you don't be like some other guys and fucks their entire family relationship over something trivial like games or entertainment. Our relationship should be at the bottom of "normal". Right above a shitty relationship. Alright Imma head out. Probably not gonna see anybody if you're replying, but whatever. My Grammar is probably trash cause I didn't revise it, so don't lose a brain cell.
I am so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s utterly unacceptable for your parents to be treating you that way. You did absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment from all your parents. You did not “fuck up,” and if you did, you’re only 15, so it’s expected for you to make mistakes. However, those mistakes don’t warrant your parents talking bad about you or treating you with such hatred. Instead, they should be helping you learn from your mistakes. In addition, your parents should be treating you with the love and respect that you deserve.
Based on what you have described, I think that you may be dealing with toxic parents. This could be an emotionally abusive situation, but there is not enough information for me to definitively draw that conclusion.
Have you ever tried to speak to your parents about how they are making you feel? Sometimes, mentioning to them how their actions are affecting you may make them change. One way you can try to do this is by utilizing “I Statements.” These statements are supposed to help people work out problems and communicate their feelings without making the situation worse. Check out these two guides on how to execute “I Statements”: http://www.bumc.bu.edu/facdev-medicine/files/2011/08/I-messages-handout.pdf and https://www.washoeschools.net/cms/lib/NV01912265/Centricity/Domain/176/2.3_I%20Statements.pdf.
If your parents are not willing to make an effort and disregard your feelings, then the best thing for you to do is to tell another adult about what is going on at home. It could be a trusted family member, a parent of a close friend, a teacher, or a school counselor. It can be daunting to open up to someone, but it’s essential to do so for your mental health and to get the help you may benefit from. They may be able to make your home life better or get you somewhere safe.
Although there are many adults you can reach out to, I recommend that you talk to your school counselor or psychologist. They are specially trained to deal with these types of issues and give mental health support to students. They won’t call child protective services or speak to your parents unless they feel that you are in danger or that there needs to be an intervention on your behalf.
Here are some articles with more advice on what you can do:
There are times where I have felt unloved, and that made me feel super depressed. So I understand how the situation with your parents is making you feel. It’s important that you remember that you are loved, even if your parents don’t give you the love you crave. You have family members and friends that love you. I know that kind of love doesn’t replace your parents’ love, but it shows that people care for you. Don’t let your parents make you feel that you are hard to love, because you are not. Here are some articles on how to cope with these type of feelings:
In addition to the resources above, I recommend that you utilize helplines for support. These are fantastic resources because they are free, confidential, available 24/7, and give their users emotional support for so many situations. Here are my suggestions:
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to speak with a crisis counselor.
7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com or download their app (IOS or Google Play) to create your account. Once you have, you can start chatting with one of their listeners or attend group sessions on numerous topics.
TeenTribe is a peer-run online support group for teens dealing with mental health and/or difficult family situations. Visit https://support.therapytribe.com/teen-support-group/ to get started.
YouthLine is a peer-run support line. You will be able to talk with a teen volunteer from 4-10 pm Pacific Time. Any other time, you will be connected with an adult counselor. They offer four different ways to contact their helpline, which you can view at https://oregonyouthline.org/.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If you feel that you are in danger of hurting yourself or having thoughts of wanting to die, please call 1-800-273-8255 to chat with a crisis intervention counselor. If you feel more comfortable speaking online, visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ to access their online chat.
This situation must be very hard on you, and you may feel trapped. It’s okay to feel how you do, but please remember that this situation is not permanent. I hope that you will be able to heal and know that you are worthy. If you need any more support, please know that you can always reach out to Asking Jude.