hey, so I think I might like one of my close friends? she's really sweet, we like the same things, and we've even kissed (through a dare, but neither of us were uncomfortable), but she's talked before about how she has a crush on someone and won't tell anyone about it. we joke flirt, say we love each other, and hold hands all the time, but I can't tell if I like her and I'm jealous of whoever she likes, or if we're just very close and I'm afraid she'll start hanging around the person she likes more.
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Hi!
Thank you for opening up and sharing your situation with me. It sounds like you're in a difficult and confusing position right now. It's not easy to navigate through such complex emotions, especially when it involves a close friend. It's normal to feel uncertain and anxious about your feelings, and taking the time to think about what you want is a sign that you value your friendship.
The fact that you're questioning your feelings is a sign that you care about your friend and your friendship. It's important to take your time and really think about what you want and how you feel. Take things slow before you decide how you’d like to move forward. Rushing into a decision or ignoring your feelings can potentially harm your friendship, and it's important to weigh the potential risks and benefits before making any moves. If you are unsure about whether to reveal your feelings or not, give these articles a read to help you weigh the pros and cons of the situation: https://tinyurl.com/4zmwpe48; https://www.campuswell.com/crush-on-a-friend/.
It’s entirely possible that what you’re feeling is any combination of romantic and platonic love. It's important to be honest with yourself about what you're feeling and why. It can be helpful to take some time to reflect on your feelings and to think about what you want from this relationship. Are you just looking for a close friend, or do you want something more? What are things you appreciate about your friend, and how do those feelings differ from romantic attraction you may have had in the past?
If you're having trouble distinguishing between romantic love and love between friends, this article can help you understand the differences between the two: https://tinyurl.com/ukkj6kjf; https://tinyurl.com/zs5zj4dh. It's also important to consider your friend's feelings. If she has a crush on someone else, it's important to respect her feelings and give her space to figure things out on her own. It can be difficult to see someone you care about show interest in someone else, but it's important to remember that you can't control how someone else feels. To come to terms with this, focus on maintaining your strong friendship with her and enjoying the time you spend together without any expectations.
Jealousy is a common feeling when it comes to relationships, but it's important to recognize the root of your jealousy. Are you afraid of losing your friend? Are you afraid of being rejected? To try and manage these feelings, finding activities outside of your friendship can give you the space to be happy and fulfilled on your own. Remember that it's okay to take a step back from the friendship if needed and to prioritize your own emotional well-being.
Try some of these tips on dealing with jealousy in a constructive way. This article include self-therapy strategies such as positive affirmations, grounding, and more: https://psychcentral.com/health/healthy-ways-to-deal-with-jealousy.
Communication is key in any relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic. It's important to have open and honest communication with your friend and to be willing to listen to each other's feelings and concerns. Approach the conversation in a respectful and honest way. It can be difficult to tell someone you have romantic feelings for them, but it's important to do so in a way that doesn't pressure them. Try saying something like, “I want to be honest with you about how I’ve been feeling lately, but I also understand and respect how you might feel about it." Be prepared to give your friend time and space to process their own feelings and respond in their own way.
If you need help communicating your feelings to your friend, this article offers advice on how to tell a friend you like them and how to do it in a way that respects their feelings and boundaries: https://socialself.com/blog/tell-friend-you-like-them/.
Additionally, if you're struggling to let go of your feelings for your friend and move on, this article provides some guidance on how to handle liking someone you can't be with: https://tinyurl.com/urnu2rb8. Taking the time to reflect on your emotions and communicate openly can help you make the best decision for yourself and your friendship. Remember to be honest with yourself and your friend, and to always respect each other's feelings and boundaries.
Don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions or just need someone to talk to!
Take care, Mikayla