I really like a friend who friendzoned me AND is polygamy as well so logically even if he could like me we wouldn't see eye to eye on the relationship thing, so IKNOW I should let him go. The thing is, we're good friends, but not bffs, and id be fine if we were very close (cuz rly j just want him in my life) or didn't see each other at all (for space) but now that we SOMETIMES hang out, it's killing me. He doesn't know. Should I really just avoid him to move on?
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Hi there,
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice. This is a tricky situation to deal with, so I can understand why you are feeling conflicted!
Although cutting a friend off can be very tough, I think you said it yourself in this message that this relationship is putting a weight on you and your emotions. You only see each other every so often and it still makes you feel negatively, and understandably so, but imagine if you were to see each other more. That would just exacerbate your emotions!
I think that cutting ties with someone with no explanation is never a great idea. This may leave the other person feeling confused and hurt as to why you just stopped talking to them. However, I do believe that it may be best for you, your mental health, and your well being to distance yourself from this person. This can be as simple as not responding to their texts with as much enthusiasm and not agreeing to hanging out with them every time they ask. They will most likely get the hint that you are not as interested in being friends with them and distance themselves too, like you would hope for. Or, they could ask you why you’ve been acting differently. In this case, a simple explanation that you want to have a bit more space will suffice, or you can feel free to explain that the friendship is negatively affecting you. Any decent person would understand and move on, too.
Of course, it is up to you whether you want to distance yourself or keep seeing this friend. But, romantic feelings do not subside super easily, no matter how hard you try to ignore them and push them aside. This is why I think it is best for you to take some time away from this person, and eventually when your feelings subside, you can always try to reignite the friendship!
Here are some resources that may help you,
Distancing Yourself from a Friend: https://www.liveabout.com/friends-you-cant-trust-1384842
Distance Yourself Without Hurting Feelings: https://oureverydaylife.com/distance-yourself-hurting-feelings-11010.html
Letting Go of Someone Who Friendzoned You: https://medium.com/@thejoshspeaks/why-you-should-never-be-just-friends-with-your-crush-4b149af9fe58
Take care and good luck,
Jordan