so I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years. It’s been ups and downs but we’ve got through. I’ve been friends with a girl for 2 years too but we wasn’t close close. Then for x amount of months, my gf started acting funny and distant, and we was going through our problems. I was begging her to be there for me, to care , to let me know what I can do to fix things. But for months nothing. Then i started getting close to my friend. We became bestfriends. We speak a lot, deep convos the closeness has been confusing to me. Then I went and hung out with her, and we ended up cuddling on the couch. Granted we was both drunk, but we was cuddling, she was staring me in my eyes. I stroked her side, played w/ her hair (yes I feel guilty) & I decided to leave. After that it’s been awkward. She keeps mentioning I’m her friend, telling me about people she’s dating /wants to fuck. Then I feel guilty around my gf. But why do I feel like this IF we are just friends? Why do I feel 💔
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-Hey there,
It sounds to me that your current relationship is having difficulties, and you have your eyes set on somebody else. It's good that you are aware of these feelings and know your limits, but keep in mind you are STILL in a relationship. It's not fair to your current partner that you are giving your attention to somebody else. If you already have strong feelings for another person, your relationship is NOT healthy. Even though your partner is not showing interest, she could still have feelings for you. Plus, it's morally wrong to cheat on somebody. Nobody deserves that. Consider the person you are currently dating and take a step back until you decide to end the relationship.
It's not right for your friend to be acting that way towards you either; there are boundaries. If you hide stuff behind your partner's back and feel guilty about the stuff you do, why proceed? Please think twice before you do something you'll regret. I've provided some resources that may help you for your situation:
Why do people cheat:
https://www.healthline.com/health/why-people-cheat#unmet-needs
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/more-chemistry/201403/why-people-cheat
When it's time to let go:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201405/when-its-time-let-relationship-go
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/8-signs-its-time-end-the-relationship.html
https://www.wikihow.com/Know-when-to-End-a-Relationship
How to restore a relationship:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201703/after-cheating-restoring-relationship-trust
https://www.ourrelationship.com/building-trust-after-cheating-how-to-regain-trust-after-your-partner-cheated-on-you/
Take care,
Monica