Basically, there's this girl I like. I've known her about 6 months and she's one of my best friends. We've had loads of happy memories together, but she's also been there to listen to me when I was struggling. (I am a pansexual girl) I'm pretty sure she's straight. I mean, I know she's straight, though she has mentioned that she's been questioning her sexuality, but she still says she's straight. I hate the feeling of having a crush - I'm demisexual and it's not necessarily something I feel very often, but when I do it basically takes over my entire life - because I know that I love her so so much just as a friend, but I feel like I can't be fully happy with that because I'm always wanting more. It makes me kind of happy to dream about some future that I can't have, but I know it's completely unrealistic, and I feel like that's hurting me. It stops me from concentrating on the things I already love in life. So I kind of wanted to just explain all of this to her, and make it very clear why I was telling her, and make it VERY clear that I still want more than anything to be her friend,, just so that I have confirmation that I can stop dreaming. I feel like all my attraction just needs to go somewhere, and if the best place for it is in a box in the back of my brain then I feel like I just need confirmation that I can put it there. I'm so sure that she doesn't feel the same way, but some small part of me just won't believe that, so I feel like I just need to hear her say it. But I know I'm going to hate myself for telling her, even if she completely understands and it's not awkward at all, since I know every time I've told her anything in the past we've got through it. I'm just going to hate myself for having that conversation, and I'm so nervous, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate myself if I don't talk to her to. I just don't know what to do.