Hey Jude, I like my friend that I was steady with before the whole virus situation but I ended things cause I didn't know how I truly felt towards her and didn't want to lead her on, but I have been so regretful and it has been like 4 months and I really want to tell her how I feel but I'm embarrassed that I have been keeping things in for so long and the fact that I was so quick when it came to ending things. I'm afraid she might tell me she doesn't like me anymore or that it will be awkward
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Anonymous' 'ask' does not have any information about his friend but, in my humble opinion, she is most likely a perceptive and intelligent young woman who will understand where anonymous is coming from...
Hi love,
Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Regret is a powerful emotion because we wish we made a different choice than what we made. Often, we can’t go back and change our decision or get another chance at that opportunity, so we have to live with that choice. However, in your case, I think you still have a chance to tell her how you feel.
It’s obvious your feelings for her haven’t changed; you were probably scared and unsure of them at the time when you broke things off with her. It’s okay to feel embarrassed, but please know that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You kept your feelings in because you believed that it was too late, and you let your fear overcome you.
However, you don’t know if that’s true. You can’t predict the future. You can only know the outcome by taking the chance to tell her how you feel. You will feel that a weight will be lifted off your shoulders, even if there’s a possibility that she doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. Although, I doubt that she got over you that quickly. It’s only been four months. Here are some guides on how you can confess your feelings to her:
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/8573/tell-someone-you-like-them/.
https://exgirlfriendrecovery.com/how-to-tell-your-ex-you-still-have-feelings-for-them/.
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/if-you-regret-breaking-up-with-your-ex-heres-what-to-do-next-19408476.
https://www.withmyexagain.com/blog/still-have-feelings-for-an-ex/.
Here are some guides on how to deal with regret:
https://www.wellandgood.com/how-to-deal-with-regret/.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-regret-8-ways-to-benefit-and-move-forward/.
https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/how-handle-regret.
I found some guides on how to cope with rejection:
http://teenhealthsource.com/relationships/dealing-with-rejection/.
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/rejection.
https://www.thehealthy.com/mental-health/therapist-dating-rejection/.
In addition to the resources above, I recommend that you utilize helplines for added support. Hotlines are free, confidential, and available 24/7. I think it would be helpful for you to speak with someone before and after telling your ex how you feel about her. Keeping in your worries and emotions is not healthy. Here are my suggestions:
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to connect with a counselor.
7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com or download their app (IOS or Google Play) to create your account. Once you have, you can start speaking with trained volunteers or attend group sessions.
CONTACT Helpline offers emotional support listening- Call 800-932-4616 tot talk with a counselor.
YouthLine: I’m not sure if you’re a teenager or not, so I wanted to include this helpline just in case you are. YouthLine is a peer to peer support line. To speak with a teen volunteer, you can contact them from 4-10 pm pacific time. Any other time, you will be connected to an adult volunteer. You have the option to call, text, email, or chat online. Visit https://oregonyouthline.org/ to get started.
I hope that I was able to help you. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, or you’ll be left wondering if they still had feelings for you. Hopefully, you can fix the regret that you have in your heart and move forward with your life. You got this! If you need any more support, please don’t hesitate to come back to Asking Jude.
P.S check out Asking Jude’s YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/c/AskingJude for helpful videos.
Love,
Meggan