Back in my second or third year of high school I started suffering from panic attacks, they took a big toll on me and I was tired of having them. I reached out to one of the counselors and told him how I was feeling. He proceeded to grab my arm and examine my wrist without my consent, asked me about my scars, and asked me I had any past suicide attempts. For the record, I never mentioned anything about my scars nor was I suicidal at the time I spoke to him. I don’t know why he drew the conclusion that I was planning on killing myself and he didn’t tell me what he was planning on doing, he just sent to the nurses office and apparently called my mother to tell her I was suicidal and needed to be hospitalized. I can only assume that’s what he told her, because the next thing I know my mother is at the school with her eyeliner smudged and a look of pain on her face. She then told me she was going to send me to a hospital because she was afraid, I was going to kill myself. Again, I was not planning on harming myself.
Anyways, that hospital stay was the worst experience of my life and things happened there that still haunt three years later. I am scared of reaching out for help because it might get me hospitalized again, and I don’t think I will be able to endure it. Today I found other people that had something similar happen to them and it made me very angry. I guess my question is, how can I get over this thing that happened to me? I don’t know if it counts as trauma but maybe it does? How do I get to stop affecting me? Am I being too harsh on this counselor? Since I’ve been suppressing it for so long I don’t know how to feel about it anymore.