Hi there,

I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing heartbreak. No matter how old you are, no matter how many times you are broken up, heartbreak is difficult and hurtful. Your feelings are valid, even if you are young. While this relationship likely won’t be the instance that you will feel your greatest love, it is possible to be in love when you are still a teenager. It is normal to have strong romantic feelings for others at your age. And, even if years from now you look back and realize that you might not have been in love with this person, that doesn’t change how you feel right now.

Remember that processing this situation will take time. Understandably, you are in pain right now. Understandably, you might be trying to find answers as to why this person left you. It is not fair or healthy, though, for you to place this blame fully on yourself. It sounds like you have internalized what happened, leaving you thinking that you must have caused the breakup. This can happen when life events occur that appear to come out of the blue or don’t understand. You shouldn’t punish yourself by blaming yourself. There is the potential that it was your fault, but that is not a negative reflection on you. That just means that your partner has chosen a different path. Try to take this as an opportunity for growth. You are no longer tied to this other person. And, most importantly, you will not be the person that you are now forever. Use this new freedom to reflect. Try to reframe negative thoughts about this situation that you are having. For example, in your submission, you said that you feel like there is something wrong with you. Ask yourself why. Is this because of what you put into this relationship? If so, remind yourself that you will find someone who will appreciate what you give and return the effort. Is it because you are comparing this situation to the relationships of others? Remind yourself that you are not them. You are likely looking for different things than they are, and if you are not, remember that your partner left. Your partner must not be aligned with the path that you are on.

Take time for yourself right now. Watch movies, listen to music, learn some new skills. Here are some resources that could help you get over this breakup:

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-stop-punishing-yourself-for-your-breakup/

https://www.hellobreakup.com/blog/2020/1/3/20-ways-to-get-over-your-ex-in-2020-according-to-a-breakup-coach

https://headspace.org.au/young-people/how-to-get-over-a-relationship-breakup/

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-get-over-someone-4774818

I hope that you can move on in a healthy way.

Best,

Mikaela

To Anonymous: Sounds like you're beating yourself up. You don't go into any detail about your day-to-day living circumstances. Are you living with a parent (s)? Do you think a long conversation with one or both of your parents would help? Would it hurt you to do that? Since the break up has affected you so deeply, maybe you have to seek the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Good luck to you...