I'm nb and showering has become really difficult. I just stand under the water for long enough for my parents to believe that I actually got into the shower. I make sure I don't stink bc lots of deodorant but I don't know what to do
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Hey Gio,
I'm sorry that none of the suggestions have panned out well for you. :( Are you familiar with bathroom wipes? They're the ones people use when they go to the bathroom but toilet paper won't clean up well enough. I'm not sure which country you're in, but here in the US, we have brands like Cottonelle, Charmin, etc. These can be used in a pinch. Just make sure you don't use cleaning wipes like Lysol or Clorox because they are NOT meant to be used on humans. Also, stay away from any hand wipes that have alcohol in them because that can irritate any sensitive skin or parts of the body.
Have any of the links I provided been helpful? Perhaps they can suggest things I didn't think of. I also think seeking out other NB folks on Tumblr or social media would be a good idea. In fact, I have another site for you: https://www.scarleteen.com
This site is for teens and young adults seeking advice on topics such as relationships, LGBT+, health, etc. They might have some more resources for you.
Have you spoken to your parents at all about this? It sounds like you haven't yet. I ask just because I don't want you to struggle alone. If you feel safe and comfortable enough, reach out to them; even if they can't help you, they can help you find someone who can. I suggest Pride Counseling if you want to find a professional because they are versed in these types of situations. You can also look at Captain Awkward's blog for more low-cost suggestions. It might be worth it to call in the pros because they can help you further.
Socially-distanced hugs,
Angelica Barile
I'm in the UK and we have bathroom wipes here. Thanks for the other recourses. I'm not really comfortable about talking to my parents about this but thanks
Hey Gio,
I'm sorry that none of the suggestions have panned out well for you. :( Are you familiar with bathroom wipes? They're the ones people use when they go to the bathroom but toilet paper won't clean up well enough. I'm not sure which country you're in, but here in the US, we have brands like Cottonelle, Charmin, etc. These can be used in a pinch. Just make sure you don't use cleaning wipes like Lysol or Clorox because they are NOT meant to be used on humans. Also, stay away from any hand wipes that have alcohol in them because that can irritate any sensitive skin or parts of the body.
Have any of the links I provided been helpful? Perhaps they can suggest things I didn't think of. I also think seeking out other NB folks on Tumblr or social media would be a good idea. In fact, I have another site for you: https://www.scarleteen.com
This site is for teens and young adults seeking advice on topics such as relationships, LGBT+, health, etc. They might have some more resources for you.
Have you spoken to your parents at all about this? It sounds like you haven't yet. I ask just because I don't want you to struggle alone. If you feel safe and comfortable enough, reach out to them; even if they can't help you, they can help you find someone who can. I suggest Pride Counseling if you want to find a professional because they are versed in these types of situations. You can also look at Captain Awkward's blog for more low-cost suggestions. It might be worth it to call in the pros because they can help you further.
Socially-distanced hugs,
Angelica Barile
Thank you. I have tried this stuff before and it's either not possible or doesn't work. But I really appreciate you thinking of my health and stuff too. Social distanced hugs back to you too 💜
Hello, bi woman here. I’m sorry that even showering makes you really uncomfortable. :( I imagine that you are feeling rather dysphoric or at least very uncomfortable with your body. Please remember that you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin; you can get there one day!
In the meantime, I found a couple of great resources for you:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/skarlan/gender-dysphoria
https://transgenderteensurvivalguide.tumblr.com/post/117122376350/any-tips-on-how-not-to-smell-badlook-dirty-when/amp
https://www.wikihow.com/Combat-Dysphoria-While-Bathing
https://www.tumblr.com/search/dysphoria%20shower%20tips
https://postdysphoria.wordpress.com/managing-or-resolving-dysphoria/showers/
The second resource is a Tumblr page that is great for any gender nonconforming young person, whether they are trans, NB, etc. They’ve answered questions similar to yours before; in fact, they suggest going in the shower with a blindfold on or something like that so you don’t have to look at yourself while you shower. Can you do that? If you do, PLEASE be careful! I don’t want you slipping or bumping into things. Can you close your eyes or avoid the mirror? Maybe you can use a brush to wash all of yourself so you don’t have to use your hands. Perhaps a loofah or a pouf would work, too? What about a washcloth?
Oh! Can you dim the lights in the bathroom? Can you get one of those fancy shower lights? I don’t want you to shower in the dark because you risk the aforementioned slipping and bumping, but having some dimmer lights or prettier lights should make showering fun for you. Pampering yourself with your favorite soaps or bath products could help you feel more comfortable, too.
If you have any old underwear or a bathing suit or even exercise clothes, keep them on in the shower. Just make sure you get underneath the articles of clothing to be sure you’re all clean. (This is really to prevent you from seeing your body).
I hope that all of this will help you feel more comfortable. Please let us know if you need any more help.
Socially-distanced hugs,
Angelica Barile
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