I can't seem to be in the present moment when I'm with my friends, I can't seem to find an emotional attachment to my reflection or my name & I don't know how to start getting better. I'm aware that my depersonalization has only gotten worse over quarantine and that my anxiety only fuels it. So far, I know that I shouldn't pay heed to it, and I try my best but I really only wish to be here. I tried keeping alarms to remind myself to do grounding techniques every hour or so, I do yoga, I have a supportive group of friends, and I try to sleep well and take care of my physical health. I read somewhere that depersonalization might start to go away once I get treatment for anxiety, but the problem is I don't know if my parents would send me to therapy. Should I start convincing them? I saw this manual on Instagram by someone who recovered from anxiety - should I buy that? My question is how do I proceed?
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Hi there,
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice. I can only imagine how frustrating all of this must be for you, and I am glad that you are making constant efforts to manage your mental health. You are correct when you say that treating anxiety can aid in coping with depersonalization. In fact, Dr. Timothy Legg at Healthline (https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/derealization-anxiety-symptom-makes-reality-melt-away#Returning-to-reality-by-accepting-my-unreality) states that depersonalization is often a sign of anxiety. So, I hope grounding techniques, yoga, and prioritizing social relationships and physical health have been helpful in relieving your symptoms.
According to The Recovery Village (https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/treatment/), treatment for depersonalization is significantly helpful in reducing symptoms and promoting recovery as well. Therefore, I think convincing your parents to let you see a therapist would be extremely helpful in your situation. Of course, it’s not always easy for parents to see the value of therapy; a lot of this has to do with the stigma surrounding mental health discussions. Here are two links with ways to help you approach your parents about getting help: https://www.google.com/amp/s/childmind.org/article/how-to-talk-to-your-parents-about-getting-help-if-you-think-you-need-it/amp/ and https://advancedcounseling.info/teens-tell-parents-want-see-counselor/.
If your parents agree to let you receive treatment, congratulations! Here is an article that explains the various types of treatment for depersonalization disorder that you can talk about with your parents and your doctor: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352916. The article also discusses how to prepare for your appointment, which can be helpful if you find yourself feeling nervous.
If your parents are unsure and still need some convincing, consider their reasons for not allowing you to seek help. If their concern is the cost, consider looking into sliding scale therapy options, which can offer you lower cost treatment based on income (more information here: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-sliding-scale-therapy-do-you-qualify/). If their concern is that they do not believe in the efficacy of therapy, please visit this article for help tackling that belief: https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/how-to-talk-to-your-parents-about-therapy/.
If your parents still refuse to give you permission to see a therapist, you still have options available to you. I found an article with ways you can relieve depersonalization symptoms, which I hope will be of use to you: https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-simple-ways-to-relieve-depersonalization#7. Although I am not a fan of their use of the term “overreact,” the tips they mention can help you in battling depersonalization at home. I also recommend the use of hotlines and/or textlines, which can offer you additional support:
-https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
-http://www.contacthelpline.org/emotional-listening-support
-Telephone Helpline: 877-995-5247 or download the Safe Helpline app on your phone
-Crisis Helpline: 800-233-4357
-Crisis Chat: https://www.contact-usa.org/chat.html
-Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741
More telephone numbers can be found here: https://psychcentral.com/lib/telephone-hotlines-and-help-lines/
Remember that you deserve the best treatment available, and you have all of our support from Asking Jude.
Sending love and support,
Helen