The hospital won’t help me because of my dignoses aby more (bpd) but I cant be alive anymore- I don’t know what to do when everything is pointing to ending it. No one will help, I think the thoughts are right
Helen, thank you for the work that you do...
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice. I’m very sorry to hear about the negative thoughts rummaging through your mind due to BPD. I can only imagine how much pain it has caused you. It can be very easy to assume that ending your life is the only solution. However, I believe that you reaching out to Asking Jude is a sign that you are looking for ways to improve your situation. We are here to support you, so listed below are some things I recommend:
First and foremost, please keep the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) at hand. Their number is 1-800-273-8255, but they also have a chat option located on their website. Keeping their number (and link to their website) with you can remind you that help is always available.
I encourage you to seek out a therapist that specializes in BPD. If you have already met with therapists in the past and have not had much improvement with them, it could be because you have not found the right one yet. It can take time to find a therapist that truly understands your situation and is committed to helping you. Keep searching, and remind yourself that you deserve the best possible care. This link (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists) can help you find therapists in your area. I also recommend visiting https://openpathcollective.org/ for more affordable therapy options. Additionally, if you are a member of a marginalized community, please visit https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJV4JAeN/ for more inclusive therapy directory options.
I also suggest you to reach out to trusted loved ones for support. Feeling isolated from people who care about you can strengthen those negative thoughts and convince you that you are alone in your healing journey. Thus, reaching out to friends and family members can remind you that you have people rooting for you. I found a great link regarding how you can open up about mental illness, which you can visit here: https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-people-knowing-about-your-mental-illness. If you do not know anyone who you can reach out to, there are also support groups available for people struggling with their mental health. You can check it out here: https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups
As for living with BPD, I found a link that discusses different methods for coping with the disorder: https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-skills-borderline-personality-disorder-425412. It has great advice, such as practicing mindfulness and engaging in behavioral activation. I want to add another that has helped me in the past: keeping a mental health journal. You may have heard of it before or even or even practiced it, so I hope keeping a therapy journal offers you a safe, judgement-free space where you keep track of your emotions. Here is a link to how you can keep a therapy journal: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/journal-therapy#Journal%20Therapy%20Exercises%20and%20Prompts.
I know that a primary concern of yours was coping with negative thoughts. It may help you to remember that thoughts are only thoughts, and thinking them does not mean that they are true. Learning to question them can be difficult, and you may feel that they are in control of you instead of the other way around. This link can help you fight against that: https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-beat-negative-thinking#1
Lastly, if you start to feel alone and hopeless, I want you to think of Asking Jude as your supporters. We want to support you each step of the way on your mental health journey, so I hope you feel comfortable visiting us again if you have further questions.
Sending all of my love and support,
Dear Dani! I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. One of our team members will be answering your submission by the end of the day. If you currently have a plan to end your life or if the thoughts will not stop, please, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text the Text Crisis Line at 741741.
Until then, hold on, lovely! Stay strong.
Danni, please do not do anything to end your life. I'm sitting here in tears. Please do not do anything to end your life...