I recently graduated but I don't know what do to do anymore. My days are taking care of my grandma but all she does is argue with me when I'm trying to help her so now I just let her do whatever she wants. Sometimes, when I walk by or talk to my stepdad, he looks at me as if I am stupid. Today he yelled at me when my mom yelled at me for leaving the door open because the ac was on but I only had it opened for at least 5 mins before they got home. Instead of reasoning with one another, all they did was yell at me on how much they spent money on the electricity bill. My mother wasn't really there for me when I was a child. I know she tries her best but I feel like there's no point since I'm older now. My stepdad isn't really a dad to me, he's more like a friend since he never tried doing any parenting bonding with me. So, when he yells at me, I feel like he's just a stranger yelling at me. I was neglected as a child so I don't understand parental bonding or a parents love. For the past few days, I been thinking about how would I die. There are times when I'm building one of my model kits, I always look at the blade cutter and would think should I end my life now because I don't even know why I was even born to begin with. I usually stop myself from doing it because of my friends but right now, I feel like I'm reaching my limit. I think this incident with the door being opened and being yelled at is making me feel this way. I'm just tired of it all.