Hi Jude! I have really bad anxiety and OCD and super bad intrusive thoughts. A lot of my intrusive thoughts (70%) our centered around something super scary that I saw on the internet at a young age. My intrusive thoughts are constantly telling me that I am a bad person. One therapist says I have depression and another dysthymia. I feel so wrong all the time, and I think it's not only because of OCD and anxiety. My brain jumps around a lot, so it's saying BPD, depression, PTSD, ADHD, etc. Help?
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Hi there,
I’m sorry to hear that you have been struggling. It is always difficult to function when you have issues with intrusive thoughts and difficulty understanding exactly what is contributing to your mental state. Here at Asking Jude, we can’t assist you in diagnosis because that is something that can only be done through an interview-type process with a professional.
Intrusive thoughts often accompany depression, but if you feel as though your diagnosis is incorrect, getting one that you feel is more accurate could help find coping mechanisms or treatment options that will work for you. If you don’t think that the therapist that you mentioned had an accurate diagnosis, it is worth speaking to a different mental health professional. If you are still seeing a therapist, it is important to mention how you are feeling currently about your diagnosis and that you are beginning to think that you have other conditions. Your therapist can then help you assess your symptoms and screen you for various conditions. They will also be able to give you insight as to why they are diagnosing you a certain way. It also seems that your intrusive thoughts are taking up a lot of your mental capacity and impacting your functioning. Even if you have already brought this up to your therapist, it is worth revisiting. The fact that these thoughts mostly surround one event may mean that there is some trauma within that event that you still need to work through. If you are not currently seeing a therapist, here are some resources that you can use to help you find one:
https://openpathcollective.org/- low cost therapy options
https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling/
In the meantime, there are various ways that you can try to handle your intrusive thoughts. One of the most important things to remember is that you should try your best not to engage them. Recognize that they are intrusive, but do your best to let them pass through your mind. This way, the thoughts will linger less, and you will be able to allow your thoughts to move past them. Part of this is not actively trying to force the thoughts out of your mind. This, of course, is easier said than done. Something that can help you allow your thoughts to flow and pass easier is practicing mindfulness/meditation.
Mindfulness can help you to relax and ground yourself when you are experiencing intrusive thoughts. An important facet of meditation and mindfulness is allowing your mind to wander and not actively try to control your thoughts. The more you practice mindfulness, the easier this will get. Here are some mindfulness exercises specifically made for intrusive thoughts that you can try:
http://bethspatterson.com/using-mindfulness-meditation-to-tame-intrusive-thoughts/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTriRU6PYNA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEFG6cIAuM
Here are some high-rated meditation/mindfulness apps with guided sessions that you can try:
Headspace
Calm
Insight Timer
Aura
Sattva
Ensō
I would also like to remind you that everybody gets intrusive thoughts. This is not to minimize the significance of yours, but to remind yourself that you are not alone in handling these types of thoughts, in addition. You should try to remember that these thoughts are not reflections of yourself or anything you want. By recognizing them as intrusive, you seem to be already doing this, so continue this practice, and this should help you differentiate the thoughts from yourself. Here are some articles about intrusive thoughts and managing them that may be able to help you:
https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts
https://www.northpointrecovery.com/blog/7-tips-deal-stop-intrusive-thoughts/
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intrusive-thoughts-coping#6
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-sticky-mind/201907/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts
I hope you can receive the help you need and can overcome your intrusive thoughts.
Best,
Mikaela