I have been in a relationship with this person for nearly 7 years. And crazily enough we have never met. I have always wanted to meet but they always make excuses. But anyway they haven't always treated me that great and I don't even know where to start. For a lot of the relationship they would go for weeks ignoring me and then pick me up again and act great for a couple of weeks. I would have done anything for them and I think they used this to make themselves feel good. They would call me names like an idiot and other words I hate to say but say this was a joke. If I got upset with anything they would call me sensitive and say I have no sense of humour. When I started therapy this person said they didn't want me to go because they were scared I would get over my social anxiety and meet other people. Also over skype they would pressure me to do things (sexually) that I wasn't comfortable with and would make comments like 'you always feel uncomfortable' or just other things which made me feel bad but doing that stuff was horrible and I have hated every minute of it. At one point I found out they were talking to multiple random girls and saying he was single and just saying very inappropriate and disgusting things to them. He of course said this was a joke and it was my fault for seeing it. He constantly makes 'jokes' about my sexuality. I am bisexual. He does stuff on camera which makes me feel so very uncomfortable but always manages to make me feel bad.
That was a couple of years ago and he says to me he is a good boyfriend. I do not want to be with him anymore. He is very insecure and I have tried to be as understanding as possible as I have had my insecurities before but I feel like I can't take it anymore. My mother passed away in june from pancreatic cancer and I have been struggling a lot. I have also been in therapy for an eating disorder. I am also an introvert. This person wants me to talk to him every minute of the day. If I don't respond quickly he gets mad or upset with me. He also get upset with me when I go to university because he is scared I will meet someone else - even if I go out with my family for like a dinner or something he is upset, When my mother passed I asked for space as I felt like I couldn't deal with a relationship at that point in time. He kept messaging me because I would reblog a couple of posts and he would get upset with me, he also knew my tumblr user and was looking at my blog at least 10x a day and I felt so uncomfortable with it.
I did try to block him a few times and try and move on but he would send me emails with very mean stuff, saying that I was heartless, I am selfish and I am worthless. He also made a comment about my mum which was horrible. After this I felt terrible and went back because I don't think I am those things. Everytime I block him he finds someway of contacting me and won't leave me alone.
I have never had any friends as I feel like he will get mad at me but as he is not close to me in rl I feel very lonely, especially with what has happened with my mum. I feel like he does not understand that I am grieving. He still pressures me into sexual things and I am tired of it, I am tired of being accused of doing things which I haven't, I am tired of him using personal things I have told him against me, I am tired of feeling worthless, I am tired of being lonely in real life to someone who I haven't met. This relationship exhausts me but for some reason I find it hard to leave and I don't know what to do.