Hey :) I need you advice on smth and to tell me if I’m overreacting 😅 so my boyfriend often ha ga out with this group of women (b/c some of his friends are in a relationship with some of these women) and this one women often oicks him up when they go somewhere together she snaps him a lot she drives him home after partying they drove home together in a taxi etc etc anyways I asked my boyfriend to please just tell me afterwards about it so I don’t have to worry about. Yet it doesnt happen he only tells me about it when I ask specific questions about the night. and i absolutely do not like this. If he would just tell me about it I wouldn’t feel rhe need to worry. But like this I just dont know
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You are not overreacting. You spoke to your boyfriend about how this situation makes you uncomfortable, and he isn’t doing anything to reassure you. Is there a reason for your suspicions? Was there infidelity in the past? I think it is a good idea to continue talking to your boyfriend about how you’ve been feeling. You did the right thing by not only talking with him but posing a solution. I’m sure it probably feels awkward to bring the situation to his attention again, but don’t give up. Sometimes, it takes more than once for someone to understand something. Timing definitely matters—don’t try to broach the subject when you are both in the middle of something or one if you is in a bad mood. It is a good idea to set aside some time for the two of you to talk without interruption. Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively: https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-easy-ways-to-communicate-better-in-your-relationships/.
Is there a reason you cannot attend these parties with your boyfriend? I’m not saying that this has to become a regular outing for the two of you, but it might be a way to spend time together and reassure yourself that nothing suspect is happening. Spending time together is a great way to build a bond in a relationship. It can also help with reinforcing trust. Here are some tips on how to build trust in a relationship: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/trust/our-top-tips-building-trust-your-relationship.
I think that establishing and reinforcing boundaries can also help you here. Yes, boundary rules reinforce what you will and won’t tolerate, but they’re more than that. Boundaries are rules for you as well. They are the ways that you will respond to certain situations. For example, if your boyfriend isn’t forthcoming with information, you can tell him how that makes you feel. When telling him how you feel, use “I feel” statements. For example, “I feel uneasy when you are vague.” Here is more information on boundary-setting that I think will be helpful: https://www.uky.edu/hr/sites/www.uky.edu.hr/files/wellness/images/Conf14_Boundaries.pdf.
I wish you well,
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