I have a male friend who's 19 and he recently met this 16 year old girl on ffxiv and apparently they have feelings for each other but aren't pursuing a relationship bc she's underage. but they've been hanging out a lot, they're in calls alone together practically all day everyday and they interact romantically in game. I tried talking to my friend about it and he said they've talked about it at length before but I don't think he's doing enough to discourage that behavior. should I say something?
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Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. I understand what you are going through, and truly appreciate you trying to look after your friend. Age differences do matter in a relationship, especially teenage relationships.
Try having a conversation and see if you can say some of the points mentioned below:
For example, a 14-year-old dating someone that is the same age isn’t illegal or looked upon as wrong or even talked about much. Because the two people in the relationship are the same age, it is considered normal in today’s society. On the other hand, a 14-year-old dating someone who is 21 is criticized because one person involved in the relationship is over the age of 18.
The wider the age gap, the more unacceptable the relationship is considered. Teens in high school need to avoid getting into a relationship with someone who is over 18. When you are a minor, you are not mature enough to have an intimate relationship with someone who is already an adult. In some relationships, statutory rape comes into play because of the couples’ decision to have sex, even though it’s consensual. To avoid getting in trouble with the law or even your parents, don’t date someone over the age of 18 while still in high school.
After you are 18, age shouldn’t matter as much because you are an adult, free to make your own decisions in life. Think about it. A lot of adult couples today are more than two to four years apart and no one comments on that. Your life essentially becomes less magnified, as it should be. Nobody should feel the need to question your relationship choices when you are an adult.
Try telling your friend that you think its a bad idea and that they should just talk and wait before becoming more serious with their relationship. As long as both people in a relationship are over 18 there should be no problem.
Below are some helpful links related to this subject:
Hope this helps,