This happened like 5/6 years ago when I was in middle school. I wanted to ask SOMEONE if it was messed up, cause I can't get the memory out recently.
When I was younger whenever I got my period I was so disphoric, and I couldn't stand the texture/ feeling of pads and hated even thinking about it. My mom of course, was pissed at me for ruining my clothes.
One night after my shower she walked in (I was dressed, though that wouldn't have stopped her) and started asking me if I was on my period, lecturing me on ruining my clothes, loudly. I was overwhelmed and cornered and I tried to bolt to my room. She grabbed my arm, and at the same time her sneaker ended up landing on my foot (she isn't a small woman) which hurt. I bolted, probably tearing at the skin of my foot too.
The next day I woke up and I had like a freakishly big bruise. Black/ purple and you could easily see the shoe tread in the bruise. I went to school normally cause what else was I gonna do? I decided that I'd go to the nurse, just to see if it wasn't too bad.
I, as any other middleschooler, decided to do this during PE. When I went to the nurse I showed the bruise, and told her it was hard to walk from the pain. She looked at the bruise, made a comment about how it looked like someone stomped on my foot while wearing heels.
I immediately said that I had been rough housing with one of my sisters (the closest in age being 10 inches shorter, and 20 pounds lighter). She accepted the story and gave me a bag of ice.
My parents never found out, she never called home, and I never told anyone.
Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. Sometimes we need a non-biased party to hear our thoughts to help us gain perspective. Reaching out was a brave thing to do.
It sounds like you have experienced a tumultuous situation with your mother. While you were both frustrated and overwhelmed, that is not an excuse for her behavior because she is the adult in the relationship.
It is clearly not a positive memory if it is still bothering you. Here are some tips on how to process experiences like this: https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/stress.
I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your mother, but if you feel safe speaking with her, it may be good to discuss the situation with her to gain some clarity. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with your mom, processing the situation with trusted friends, other family members, or even a mental health professional may be beneficial to you.
I have linked a site that allows you to find a counselor near you: www.psychologytoday.com. I like this site because you can search by location and specify what type of counselor you are looking for.
You could also try journaling to process your emotions. Journaling can be a great way to relieve stress and anxiety if you do not feel comfortable discussing this experience with others.
You have taken an important step in processing what has happened by facing it. By thinking about the situation, you are no longer avoiding it and suppressing your emotions.
I have linked additional tips on processing troubling situations: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/ss/slideshow-emotional-trauma-self-care.
However you are feeling about what happened is perfectly fine; all of your feelings are valid. Your emotions might be confusing at times, but that is completely normal. Allow yourself to feel everything. It is all part of the process. Please do not hesitate to reach out to Asking Jude again if you have any further questions.
Keep striving,
Andrea