I've tried talk therapy and I'm not sure that it helps. The only way I ever really had access to therapy was because of school and my last one was the one that I clicked with, but now I'm not in school and I feel myself spiraling back into myself with depression, alcohol, and general self-destruction. I know I don't want some of these things for myself because I don't want to continue this family cycle, but I am so stuck and barely making it by in so many ways. There are some days better than others and days that are the worst and I don't want to leave my bed. I feel and see myself just moving through the motions at this point and things are feeling so meaningless again. I can't afford therapy and I know I need it. Thank you for your website, I've been with you since Tumblr. I can't get myself to write anymore because it's just too much and it gets so exhausting reiterating my traumas and negative experiences through life over and over again to different people trying to help me (therapy, friends, or family). I feel like I'm going through this faze again where I'm just shutting down and Covid has helped enable that in some ways with not putting myself in social settings which surprisingly sometimes makes me crave interaction. Idk how many more times I can go through cycling through therapists trying to find the right one and tell my story again in order to get the help I need. I'm going to try and find whether or not medication will end up being my permanent solution, but I'm so scared of medication. I come from a family of addiction and abuse with drugs and alcohol. I struggle myself already with determining where on the spectrum I fall with alcohol use disorder as it is... Are there medications for anxiety or depression that can cause addiction?
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Hi there,
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice, and I’m very sorry to hear that you are not able to see your regular therapist anymore. I know it must have taken a lot of time and patience to connect with them. What was it about that therapist that you liked? Maybe it was their age, their focus, their years of experience, or their cultural background. Making a list of those qualities can make it easier to pick through a list of available therapists and find one that you think will work best. Unfortunately, it can be a game of trial and error; not everyone meets the right therapist on the first try (or even the first few tries). It can feel frustrating and hopeless, but I don’t want that to discourage you. You deserve to have someone who will listen to and address your concerns while also making you feel comfortable. I found two links to articles discussing how to pick the right therapist that I hope will help:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/collaborative-care-and-psychiatry/202109/how-choose-the-right-therapist%3famp
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-find-a-therapist#local-resources
You also mentioned affordability being an issue, so I found a link that talks about more affordable therapy options: https://www.healthline.com/health/therapy-for-every-budget#Introduction-to-affordable-therapy. Since sliding scale therapy is based on your income, there is a high chance that you can find a therapist that fits your budget. The website also mentions group therapy as an option, which you could consider if you feel that one-on-one talk therapy does not work for you.
Regarding your concerns about addiction and your family history, I strongly recommend talking to your primary care physician about this. There are ways you can prevent addiction from medication, and there is more information on that here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/prescription-drug-abuse/symptoms-causes/syc-20376813. If you decide to see a psychiatrist, you would want to discuss this with them as well. This may help put your mind at ease and help you feel more comfortable with taking medication.
Lastly, I hope the following link helps you cope with stress from the pandemic: https://web.musc.edu/about/news-center/2020/03/25/covid-19-stress-relief. I wish there was a way to eliminate all of the hardships the pandemic brought about, but until then, finding healthy ways to deal with these hardships can be fruitful. If you don’t feel motivated to write yet, aim smaller. Maybe you can re-read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie to feel inspired. Or, you can spend time with a close family or friend as a relaxing distraction. Find the activities that you find meaning in, but don’t be too hard on yourself if this is not an easy process. Keep trying, you may find things that make you feel a little better each day.
Sending love,
Helen
Hi there, @Mia Bella ! One of our peer counsellors, Helen, will be answering your submission within the next 48 hours. If you need an answer soon, let us know! Until then, stay strong.
Mia Bella, you have come to the right place. The team, led by Jude, will help you...