I've tried talk therapy and I'm not sure that it helps. The only way I ever really had access to therapy was because of school and my last one was the one that I clicked with, but now I'm not in school and I feel myself spiraling back into myself with depression, alcohol, and general self-destruction. I know I don't want some of these things for myself because I don't want to continue this family cycle, but I am so stuck and barely making it by in so many ways. There are some days better than others and days that are the worst and I don't want to leave my bed. I feel and see myself just moving through the motions at this point and things are feeling so meaningless again. I can't afford therapy and I know I need it. Thank you for your website, I've been with you since Tumblr. I can't get myself to write anymore because it's just too much and it gets so exhausting reiterating my traumas and negative experiences through life over and over again to different people trying to help me (therapy, friends, or family). I feel like I'm going through this faze again where I'm just shutting down and Covid has helped enable that in some ways with not putting myself in social settings which surprisingly sometimes makes me crave interaction. Idk how many more times I can go through cycling through therapists trying to find the right one and tell my story again in order to get the help I need. I'm going to try and find whether or not medication will end up being my permanent solution, but I'm so scared of medication. I come from a family of addiction and abuse with drugs and alcohol. I struggle myself already with determining where on the spectrum I fall with alcohol use disorder as it is... Are there medications for anxiety or depression that can cause addiction?