Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with this situation. Dealing with rejection is always challenging, especially when you are receiving mixed signals from the person who rejected you.

Here is an article that offers some tips on how to cope with rejection: https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-rejection.

There are many possibilities as to why she rejected your marriage proposal, and yet still claims that she wants to get married. She may be interested in a relationship with you, but maybe she isn’t emotionally ready for the commitment of marriage. Perhaps she would like to be more financially stable before she marries you, or maybe she’s afraid of how her family and friends will react. It may not even be about you specifically; she could be dealing with other complications in her life that she wants to handle prior to marriage.

It is important that you talk to her to figure out what is going on, and to understand her side of the story. Communication is important in all relationships, and clarifying the situation will provide you both with closure. Try to have this conversation when both of you are calm and focused. Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/effective-communication.htm.

Rejection is difficult for everyone, even those without mental health issues. You may want to try talking to your friends and family about how you are feeling about the situation. It can be therapeutic to speak your feelings aloud to people who care about you. Try to remember that you are not alone in this, and that these negative feelings of confusion will not last forever.

You could also benefit from journaling. It is similar to talking with friends and family because you are able to freely speak your mind without fear of criticism. There are many different ways to journal, but the stream-of-consciousness method is particularly effective because you do not have to worry about proper grammar or punctuation. Journaling will likely improve your mental health, and it can help you work through your thoughts and emotions about the situation.

Here is an article that discusses journaling and its benefits in greater detail: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1. Also, I have linked an article that talks generally about how to move on from rejection: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/rejection/overcome.

Thank you again for reaching out to Asking Jude. I hope that some of this information was helpful, and please do not hesitate to reach out again if you have any further questions.

Hang in there,

Andrea