Hey there,

It seems that you really care about what your friends are doing in their sex lives, and you want to feel accepted by meeting up with those standards. It’s no one’s business what you have done in bed, and being a virgin at 20 years old is NOT a negative thing. It’s good that you are waiting for the right person at the right time. There are individuals in their 20’s who regret sleeping with those they did not have a connection with or wish they did not have multiple partners in their sexual history. I’m sorry you feel left out and confused when this subject is brought up with your friends, but please don’t force yourself to have sex with anyone because you are a virgin in your friend group. If it makes you uncomfortable, be honest with your friends and change the subject. Everyone is at their own pace in life, and just because it is “trendy” in a friend group doesn’t mean you have to engage in it.

You may also want to consider the risks of engaging in sex, such as STD’s, pregnancy, etc. So in the future, when you do decide to engage in sexual activity, you are practicing safe sex. Remember, happiness does not come from sex. True happiness comes from yourself and making wise choices. I’ve provided some resources that I thought may be helpful for you:

Text Crisis Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/

Being a virgin and how it’s OK:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/yes-its-okay-if-you-are-still-a-virgin-0214197

https://www.society19.com/uk/why-its-okay-to-still-be-a-virgin-in-your-20s/

Benefits of abstinence:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/abstinence-and-outercourse/what-are-benefits-and-disadvantages-abstinence-and-outercourse

Birth Control Methods:

https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/birth-control-methods

Practicing safe sex:

https://www.healthline.com/health/womans-guide-safe-sex-basics

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/safer-sex-guidelines

Take Care,

Monica