I have no idea if this will make sense, but my boyfriend told me that his brother's girlfriend just got breast implants and it kind of shook me? I have small breasts and it makes me insecure sometimes, but I typically get over it because I see other people who I consider pretty (her included) have small breasts too. I've thought about getting implants before, but now that someone actually got them done it makes me feel like my small breasts are no longer acceptable. I suddenly no longer feel attractive in my own skin and I feel like my boyfriend prefers someone with bigger breasts, even though this has never been an issue before until now. I hate this mindset and I'm not sure how to get back to feeling OK about my body.
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Girl, I feel you. When I was in school, I used to get made fun of because I was so small. It doesn’t help that the media and society constantly use boobs and women’s bodies to sell literally everything; you don’t have to be a boobasaurus rex to be attractive. You are perfectly valid and beautiful as you are. It may sound like just an empty platitude, but this is coming from someone who also had to learn to accept her body, small chest and all.
Let’s give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt for a moment. I have a feeling he only told you because it’s some serious tea; I doubt he told you to make you feel insecure or anything like that. Maybe he told you because he just can’t believe she went and did that. I’m sure he isn’t even thinking about his brother’s girlfriend; I highly doubt he’s fantasizing about her or anything like that. I understand why you’re feeling so caught off-guard; having someone in such close proximity to both of you getting implants so suddenly is kind of jarring.
I bet that he wouldn’t be dating you if your chest size wasn’t up to his standards. In fact, if he was at all bothered, he’d have started showing you. Some of those signs would include:
-pressuring you to follow suit and get implants (“Why don’t you get implants?”)
-constantly talking about bro’s gf (“She’s so hot now.”)
-constantly comparing you to bro’s gf (“She looks more womanly. Why don’t you look more like her?”)
-subtly making snide remarks about your chest (“You look like a little boy compared to her.”)
-acting uninterested in being intimate with you (“Sorry babe but you’re not doing it for me anymore.”)
-staring/ogling/leering at her, grinning stupidly at her, acting dumbstruck around her, etc. (basically acting like a hormonal cartoon character)
But he’s clearly happy with you; I doubt he’s even thinking about anything other than being happy you’re his gf. That being said, you are absolutely allowed (and encouraged) to talk to your bf about this. It’s so he doesn’t even accidentally say something that could really upset you. Here’s how you can discuss it with him:
“Bf, you know how your brother’s gf got implants recently? I was surprised you told me. Ever since then, it feels like that inadvertently started making me feel weird and insecure. I didn’t expect it to happen, but I guess I feel like I’m not attractive anymore compared to her.”
He’ll likely be surprised and sad, but I’m sure he would discuss how he can help you feel better. If anything, you could tell him you don’t want any details about her surgery or anything like that. I just don’t want this to turn into the elephant in the room, so to speak, but if your boyfriend has even a shred of decency, it shouldn’t. I’m sure he can think of something.
Are you close to bro’s gf at all? Maybe you can talk to her about the surgery and see why she got it. I’m not saying go interrogate her, but if it won’t be super triggering, maybe see if she was in your shoes. You never know; maybe she felt just like you and thought this would help. Perhaps this could bring you two a little closer? Like maybe she can allay some of your insecurities by reminding you that she loves her bf too much and respects y’all too much to go after your bf. Again, only do this if you feel comfortable enough doing so; I don’t want you to feel even worse.
There are plenty of articles that explain the benefits of having a small chest, like this one:
There are more, but I decided to link this one because it’s the most SFW. Basically, having a small chest means less neck and back pain and more ease sleeping on your stomach. It means more sensitivity during bedroom fun and more ease finding lumps or other odd growths. It means not having to worry about the girls busting your buttons open.
Another great benefit is being able to buy a greater variety of bras and similar pieces of clothing. (Bralettes, built-in bras in tops and dresses, cutely colored bras, etc.) The juniors section is a godsend for me. See if you can find something similar. Perhaps finding cute undies can help you feel a little better about yourself.
You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. Your body is perfectly valid as is; as a fellow small-chested woman, I promise we both rock! You do not need to have gigantic hadonkaboongalas to be attractive. Everything you’re feeling right now is perfectly valid; you are not crazy or unreasonable or anything like that.
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