(disclaimer: sorry if my English is bad. Also I am not sure of the correct trigger warnings to use in English so I shall try to not go into any possibly triggering details)
How do I decide to go to the psych hospital (I think that's what it’s called in English)? My doctors have been recommending it for quite some time due to a lengthy list of worsening conditions. You could blindly pick a random page from the ICD and it would probably have something on there I have.
I do think it would help. I'm self-damaging and suicidal. But my family and partner disagree. And because of my mental illnesses, I know that if I go despite their opposition, no matter how hard I try to focus on my own healing while there, my mind will constantly be fixated on the fact that I'm there against the wishes of the ones I care about. At this time it feels like my only option is to wait until I get so bad that the doctors no longer give me a choice. But I do not think that is the wisest approach. Any recommendations?
PS thank you Jude & co for being engler.
Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out! I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I am pleased to know that you have professional help near you. I am also glad to know that you are recognizing what kind of help you think will be best for you. I can imagine that it is frustrating that your loved ones disagree with what you need, but not everyone is going to agree, and that is okay. In the end, it is your decision, and you have to do what’s best for you.
I know that this is easier said than done—doing something against your loved ones’ wises can be a heavy weight on your shoulders. But at the end of the day, they love you and want what’s best for you. Even if they don’t think you need to be committed, how they feel is not your responsibility. You cannot control how your loved ones feel. I know it may be easier to do what they prefer, but it isn’t healthy for you. You have to put yourself first. Here is some information on emotional responsibility: https://albertellis.org/2014/01/emotional-responsibility-and-dealing-with-other-people/.
Waiting until your symptoms worsen is a very dangerous idea. I am sure that your family and partner do not want you to be in danger. I understand that you feel as if you need their support. It may be a good idea to try talking to them about this again. That way, you provide them with an opportunity to understand your reasons before you seek out medical attention. Keep in mind though that their opinions may not change.
During the conversation, avoid accusatory language like “always” and “never." I would start by saying, “I feel upset when. . .” I-statements will help your loved ones feel less defensive. If you tell them about how you’ve been feeling, this may open their eyes to what is going on. No one wants to see you suffering. Sometimes, people have misconceptions about psychiatric hospitals and that prevents them from thinking clearly. Explain to them what your expectations are and have an open conversation about what will happen; there may be a chance that they're just as scared as you are. Here are some tips on how to have a difficult conversation: https://hbr.org/2017/05/how-to-have-difficult-conversations-when-you-dont-like-conflict.
You said you may have a hard time focusing on your own well-being while away. Just know that there are people at the hospital that can help with that. They have seen all kinds of situations. You are not alone in how you are feeling. Being open and honest with your doctors can help them help you. They will know how to help you relax and not focus so much on your family. Here are some tips on how to combat worrying: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm. Writing down how you are feeling and why may help alleviate some of your worry.
And if you ever need help right away, call one of these hotlines or chat through their text services (depending on the country you're in): https://unitedgmh.org/mental-health-support. Here is some information on deciding to seek treatment from a psychiatric hospital: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/do-i-need-go-hospital/?layout=actions_ah_topics.
All in all, please, seek help if you need it. If your doctor is recommending it, it is probably for the best. Your family and partner may not see it, but this is your life and your body.
Hang in there,
Andrea
Hello from the Big Apple in the USA. Why wait for your life situation to become worse? I say go now. And good luck to you.
Hi, @Lost Wandering ! We are so sorry to hear that you're going through this. One of our peer counsellors, Andrea, will be answering you shortly. Until then, stay strong!