I am happy with my life and I'm loving myself and stopped people pleasing and caring about what others thought of me last year. I regret not standing up for myself by being too nice and letting people treat me bad and take advantage of my kindness in the past. When I meet new people, I set boundaries and watch how they react in different situations. I am about to be a year of working out next month, graduating from college, and about to start taking classes later this year so I can apply to the radiology program. My British ex and his friends still hate me to this day, but they know they are at fault and what they did to me and they are getting a taste of their own karma for treating me wrong. I mean fake people will continue to be fake, act all woke, and being in denial even when they are not in our lives no more. Life moves on tbh. I have surrounded myself with positive people who are supportive and encouraging. Also, I am proud of myself and I am glad to say that I have mastered the art of starting over. I hope that I can get into the radiology program when I do apply. I am glad that I do not have to worry about anymore drama and I can finally be myself around the right people.
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Hello! Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude.
It’s great that you’ve been making such positive changes in your life. Setting boundaries and protecting yourself from negative people is a great way to prioritize your mental health.
It's understandable to regret not standing up for yourself in the past, but it's important to remember that the past isn’t something we can change. What you can do, though, is use those experiences from your past to grow. Having compassion for yourself is a purposeful and gradual process, but it is completely worth the effort. Try to gain perspective on the things you regret; it’s not your fault that others did not treat you with the kindness you deserve. We are often our own biggest critics, but it’s important to remember that minor mistakes do not define who you are as a person.
This article goes into a little more depth on how to reframe your regret into a positive mindset: https://tinyurl.com/5xnw7kdx.
If standing up for yourself is an issue, setting boundaries is a great idea. It’s important to remember that boundaries aren’t only about the relationships we have with others, but the relationship we have with ourselves, too. It can be difficult to assess our own values and boundaries, so if you need any additional help, this article helps break down the steps of self-reflection: https://tinyurl.com/3kkvvywt.
It's unfortunate that your ex-boyfriend and his friends still hold a grudge against you, but remember that their feelings and actions are not your responsibility. You can't control how they feel or what they do, but you can control how you react to their behavior. The same principle goes for anyone who is bringing drama and negativity into your life, such as the girl that you’ve argued with. It's great that you were able to address the conflict with this person and move forward from it. You seem to know where your values and morals lie, so continue staying true to yourself. Don’t let the actions of others deter you from sending out positivity to those who deserve it.
If the negative attitude that your ex-boyfriend has for you is still something that bothers you, this article may help you find new ways to cope with these feelings: https://tinyurl.com/5n6dkc4f.
On a similar note, this article includes a few ways to regain control of your thoughts and stop overthinking about the drama in your life. If the negative relationship between you and the girl from last year is ever bothering you again, try giving it a read: https://tinyurl.com/mwa87xk8.
You've made significant progress in prioritizing your own growth and happiness, and that's something to be extremely proud of. Many people find it difficult to maintain a positive attitude in the face of hardships, and you are doing a phenomenal job. Keep surrounding yourself with the people that genuinely support you. Having people around that love and care about you makes it much easier to succeed in your goals, especially when things get tough. Pursuing a career in radiology can be a challenging but rewarding path, and I wish you the best of luck in your application process.
I have provided a step-by-step guide on how to become a radiologist. This guide is everything from undergraduate schooling up to receiving your medical license: https://www.umhs-sk.org/blog/how-to-become-a-radiologist.
Stay focused and continue to work toward becoming the best version of yourself. Be patient with yourself as you continue to learn and grow, and remember to always celebrate your progress along the way. If you ever have anything you want to share, feel free to reach out to Asking Jude again.
You got this!