i know what my issue is but every time i resolve to go web hunting for a therapist i get overwhelmed with not knowing wtf im doing!!! first i have to make sure they take my insurance, then make sure they are either close enough to me where we could do session in person, or online somehow - and im not sure how much i would like online therapy since online schooling was so hellish for me (several thousand reasons for that). and theres so many different types of therapists with different specialties and skills its all just too overwhelming to sift thru!
i grew up with depression as early as 4 years old thanks to my narc of a mother, ad ive found that i basically..... didnt have a childhood. i spent the whole thing on auto-pilot i missed it all and developed nothing. so on top of not developing properly thru my childhood, i also have issues with extensive book hangovers essentially. i love reading, but when i pour so much of my heart and soul into a book or series when it ends im painfully ripped from it, often having anxiety attacks after freshly finishing reading a story or series. it happens with tv sometimes too - Steven Universe and Fruits Basket for example. i love steven universe, but each time i rewatch it i get the same sort of soul ripping feeling from a book hangover. and i havent been able to finish watching fruits basket bc i was having too many anxiety attacks caused by watching it. its too raw. idk what to do, bc i REALLY want to read and watch these things and process my fucking emotions and trauma but i have no fucking idea how or who to even seek out to help me about it! ive managed to pick up several pieces so far, but its not nearly enough. i want to read and watch these in depth therapeutic things without fear or pain of anxiety attacks. i think half the time it hurts so much is bc the material is therapeutic, and the other half is just my soul being uprooted from the world it was growing roots in while i obsessively read the whole book or series. i dont know how to process any of this, and each time i resolve to find a therapist i get too overwhelmed by the process and just drop it. its easy enough to push one book hangover aside to start another book or series, but that means facing another one when THAT ONE ends! its and endless loop and i want it to stop. i want to process properly. i want to harness my age regression to help, but i dont know how. its too overwhelming
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing what you’ve been going through. I’m deeply sorry that finding a therapist has been so difficult for you. It’s great that you’re aware of your situation. Hopefully, it will aid in finding a mental health professional that can help with your specific situation.
Finding a therapist can be extremely overwhelming. With a seemingly infinite number of options, it’s normal to feel unsure about where to start. I want to assure you that there are many resources out there to make this process easier.
The first thing you should consider is the type of therapy that would be the most beneficial for you. When it comes to therapy for people experiencing depression, some of the most effective types of therapy include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy (IPT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Since you mentioned a history of familial trauma, IPT may be something worth looking into since it focuses on improving relationships and social support. Additionally, many therapists offer services that incorporate both behavior therapy and mindfulness; ACT and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are some great examples. These types of therapies may be good options if you think you need help changing negative behaviors and regulating your emotions. This article discusses the four best therapies for depression and includes what to expect in terms of methods and costs: https://tinyurl.com/yc32kt96.
There is no "one-size-fits-all" therapy because everyone has unique needs. That being said, it would be helpful for you to research these different types of therapy to see which one resonates with you the most. The following websites provide valuable information on different kinds of therapy, how to find a therapist, what you should expect from therapy, and different types of licensed professionals: https://tinyurl.com/5d4wx5kk; https://tinyurl.com/2t93b2kb.
Additionally, the best way to ensure a therapist accepts your insurance is to call your provider directly. They can give you a list of in-network therapists in your area. You can also reach out to potential therapists directly and ask if they accept your insurance, or use online resources, such as Psychology Today, to search for therapists by zip code, specialty, and the type of insurance they take: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists.
Even after insurance, therapy can be expensive. This article provides a few low-cost alternative options: https://tinyurl.com/2p9y9n6k.
If you are looking for something even more affordable, Asking Jude also offers pay-what-you-want, remote peer counselling. You are connected with trained peer counsellors that can help you with whatever you're going through. Since peer counsellors are never assigned more than two clients, you can rest assured that you'll be getting a personalized experience. If you're interested, feel free to reach out to jude@askingjude.org.
You also mentioned that you experience “hangovers” after finishing certain books or TV shows. Book hangovers are thought to stem from the emotional attachment we form to characters and storylines. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's important to take the time to process your emotions. Try identifying why certain characters or storylines resonate with you so deeply. You might gain a better understanding of how you can work through this feeling. If you’re interested in learning more about why you are feeling such a deep loss after finishing a book or TV show, check out this article: https://www.tckpublishing.com/book-hangover/.
Another option could be finding new media that relates to some of the books and shows to which you are attached. Watching or reading analyses, retrospectives, or reviews can help you gain new perspectives and insights into the stories you love. You may find these two videos interesting: https://youtu.be/NbsNO7mEgso; https://youtu.be/ITw_4mAzbS4!
If your book hangovers are the result of age regression, it may be helpful to further explore that term and how your personal experiences fit into it. Age regression is often the result of unresolved childhood trauma, but it’s important to study your symptoms to find a definitive cause. This article discusses certain symptoms and types of age regression: https://tinyurl.com/mry5e3t4.
There are many ways to redirect age regression and use it as an opportunity for healing and growth. For example, it can help you reconnect with your inner child and can provide comfort during stressful times. It could also be a form of self-care since it allows you to slow down and take a break from the stress and responsibilities of adult life.
You might try visualization exercises to connect with your inner child. Imagine yourself as a child and try to remember what you were like at that age. Ask your inner child what they need and how you can support them. You can also write a letter to your inner child. Some ideas you may want to talk about can be apologizing for self-blame or expressing love for your younger self. You can learn more about self-compassion and healing your inner child in this article: https://www.painpsychologycenter.com/generating-self-compassion/.
These articles also discuss regression therapy and healing from a toxic childhood if you’d like to learn more: https://tinyurl.com/3wkht8ux; https://tinyurl.com/3zdcuuzm; https://tinyurl.com/yckubacf.
I hope my advice makes this process easier for you. Remember to be kind to yourself, take things one step at a time, and seek help when you need it. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to support you on your journey.
Wishing you the best,
Mikayla.