So, I’m alone in another town, I will be able to meet my husband again only in a couple of months. My anxiety is through the roof and my binge eating disorder kicked in again.
I’m also drinking copious amounts of alcohol and I’m worried about my health. I need to stop self destructing but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to stop drinking and to eat healthy again. I use food and alcohol to escape.
But this unhealthy coping mechanisms make me even more anxious and I think it’s better if I just end it all. The suicidal thoughts are strong right now. I need help and I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s too late for me.
Thank you so much for reaching out to Asking Jude. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation. You are incredibly strong, valued, and loved. Please, stay strong and hang in there. I also recommend utilizing these resources if you are having suicidal thoughts:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255
Stress and anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, including eating and drinking habits, and I am sure the urges you are having are extremely difficult to cope with. Speaking with someone can help you develop new ways to cope with the anxiety you are feeling. Speaking with your husband, close friends, family members, or any other trusted individuals may provide you some relief. I would also recommend notifying your husband about how you are feeling and arranging more frequent times to video chat or voice call leading up to your reunion. Besides this, speaking with a licensed professional will do wonders for your mental health. Here is a resource for finding therapists near you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists.
It can often feel like there is no escape when going through such a difficult time, but things do get better! Although difficult, please, try as much as you can to focus on any positive aspects (big and small) of your life, such as seeing your husband again in a couple of months. You can even make a list and keep it with you during your darkest moments.
I would also recommend trying to replace your current habits with activities you truly enjoy to combat your stress and anxiety. This can include going for a scenic walk, painting, doing yoga, or anything else that sparks joy. Here is an article where you can read more about healthy mechanisms for coping with anxiety: https://adaa.org/tips. Journaling is also a fun activity that can help you work through your emotions. Here is a link on journaling on some of the benefits of journaling:
Eating disorders can be debilitating and you should not go through it alone, so please, contact the helpline if you feel the urge to binge:
Additionally, I would recommend to dispose of any alcohol within your living area to foster the more healthy outlets discussed previously and take away any temptation. I also wanted to provide a helpline to you for when you feel the urge to consume alcohol: https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/alcohol-hotline/
As mentioned previously, you are incredibly strong and beautiful– I know you will get through this. I hope all of this information is helpful and I am so glad you came to Asking Jude. Please, don’t EVER hesitate to reach out again. We are always here for you!
Jordan Sadan <3