So I just came back from a youth training and we'll. It was intense but I'm so proud of what I accomplished there. The project coordinators were genuinely really helpful. My issue is that I'm in love with one of them
So in love you don't get it it's not a crush
I'm 20 (and I have a boyfriend)
He is 28 and he has a gf
Maybe it's because I low key saw him as a supportive father figure who cared for me that made me fall that badly but idk
We couldn't be together too much of age difference and I don't know him that well. I just am so touched about how sweet he is. I genuinely can't get over him. I wanna be with him but I can't. He is from the same country as me
Hey love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. Acknowledging and processing strong emotions can seem overwhelming, but it is great that you have the self-awareness necessary for recognizing your feelings towards this person. I would recommend trying to talk through your emotions with a close friend or family member. Talking to someone with an objective viewpoint on the situation can help you precisely determine what specific thing is drawing you to him. If you do not feel comfortable discussing this topic with anyone, I would recommend journaling, which can also help you better understand your feelings. There are many different ways to journal; you can journal with specific prompts in mind, or you could try a stream-of-consciousness method. The stream-of-consciousness method is particularly effective because you simply write whatever comes to mind, and you don’t have to worry about grammar or sentence structure. There may be a brief period of trial and error before you decide which method works best for you.
Journaling can also help you recognize and work through the stress you are feeling about this situation, which will allow you to make an organized plan for what to do moving forward. As you mentioned, your idea of him as a supportive father figure may be contributing to your intense feelings. Pinpointing what specific thing is drawing you to him and writing out why you think you are having these feelings can help you determine whether or not you genuinely feel love towards him, or if you are just heavily infatuated.
Here is a link that talks more about journaling, its benefits, and how to get started: https://dayoneapp.com/blog/emotional-journaling/.
Next, although it may seem terrifying, I would suggest discussing this issue with your boyfriend, especially if these feelings persist. If you genuinely have feelings for this other person, it would be unfair of you to lie to your boyfriend and continue your relationship with him. Honesty and maintaining open communication is crucial for all relationships, and having a conversation with him will prevent any feelings being hurt later.
Here is an article that discusses some advice for effective communication with your partner: https://alchemy-of-love.com/expert-relationship-advice/how-to-communicate-relationship.
Love and emotions are incredibly confusing, so please remember to be kind to yourself. Striving to understand your feelings and maintaining honesty with your partner will hopefully help you through the situation.
I hope that some of this information was helpful. Please do not hesitate to reach out to Asking Jude again if you have any further questions.
Love,
Jordan Sadan