I'm addressing this to Anonymous and Mikaela. If the reason the two of you have not actually met has everything to do with the pandemic situation (wherever you are), then I hope the two of you do eventually meet... Good luck!

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out! This situation sounds very difficult for you, so I’m sorry that you have dealt with a confusing relationship. Understandably, you want to talk to other people when the girl you have been talking to isn’t interested in a more official relationship. It’s important that you are in a situation that meets your needs. If you are looking for a relationship and she isn’t, then there is a conversation that you need to have with her.

You don’t know if she is going to change her mind or if she has. That would be a good place to start. If she is planning on changing her mind, and you decide to talk to other people without having this conversation first, it could damage your relationship and hurt her. Either way, honesty is an important part of a healthy relationship. Even if you aren’t officially dating this girl, you are involved, so she should, at the very least, know that you intend to see other people.

Here are some resources to help you talk to your partner about your relationship (some of these mention to talk face-to-face. In your case, think of that as a video call):

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201507/10-better-ways-talk-your-partner

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-effectively-approach-your-partner-about-relationship-issues-0613135

https://www.understood.org/en/family/relationships/significant-other/9-tips-for-having-difficult-conversations-with-your-partner

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201406/5-tips-tough-conversations-your-partner

“I” statements are a great way to voice how you are feeling without making your partner feel attacked or like they have to defend themselves. Here are some tips on using “I” statements, including some practice that you can use:

https://compassioncoach.com/blog/when-use-i-statements#:~:text=Use%20an%20%22I%22%20statement%20when,be%20simple%20and%20%22CLEAR%22.

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/words-matter-you-vs-i/

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/i-statements Here are some tips for making long-distance relationships work and last:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201806/10-tips-make-long-distance-relationship-work

https://getlasting.com/long-distance-relationships

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/long-distance-relationship/

I hope that you can effectively communicate what you want with your partner.

Best wishes,

Mikaela