i’ve been struggling with pocd since may. over time, the thoughts have gotten better but i’m afraid because i’m not reacting to them as bad as I was before. but because i’m not reacting to them as bad, i fear that i have become my thoughts or that the thoughts are true. another was if my intrusive thoughts are even intrusive thoughts which is making me the most upset right now. basically fearing that my OCD is fake and that my intrusive thoughts aren’t intrusive thoughts.
i cannot afford therapy nor do i have a therapist to go to about this, so anything is appreciated. thank you.
Hi love,
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice. I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles with POCD and OCD. I know it must be a constant internal battle to deal with such disturbing thoughts. I first want to clarify that I am in no way a medical professional. I do not have expertise in dealing with OCD or POCD. That being said, I can send you sources and advice that I found that can help you with POCD:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4-ONS8El6TU
This first link is a video by Dr. Nathan Peterson, a therapist who specializes in OCD. In his video, he addresses how to confront the intrusive thoughts you are having. He states that gradually introducing yourself to the thoughts that scare you can allow you to take the power away from said thoughts. Of course, this does NOT mean in engaging in behaviors or actions that endangers children. Instead, he recommends starting to face the thoughts on a minuscule level, such as by looking at a picture of your niece or nephew (his example). He then outlines steps you can take to gradually live your life as you normally would.
https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/pocd-part-2-treating-pedophile-themed-ocd/
This second link confirms the exposure process mentioned above. It recommends cognitive and mindfulness approaches as well.
https://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forum/ocd-and-intrusive-thoughts/coping-advice-intrusive-thoughts-and-work-pocd-theme
This third link is advice from someone who learned how to cope with POCD. In sum, she states that therapy, the exposure approach, meditation/yoga, opening up about your feelings to friends or a journal, and staying away from social media helped her with these thoughts.
I know you mentioned that you cannot afford a therapist at the moment, which is completely understandable. Just in case you find a therapy option that is within your price range, here is a link to finding low-cost therapy: https://www.healthline.com/health/therapy-for-every-budget#support-groups
Below, I will also be recommending hotlines and text lines you can use for additional support:
-http://www.contacthelpline.org/emotional-listening-support
-Telephone Helpline: 877-995-5247 or download the Safe Helpline app on your phone
-Crisis Helpline: 800-233-4357
-Crisis Chat: https://www.contact-usa.org/chat.html
-Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741
Lastly, I recommend checking out this link about intrusive thoughts: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intrusive-thoughts-coping#Letting-go-of-the-shame-and-guilt.
Remember that you are not alone, and you are not your thoughts. The fact that you are reaching out for help demonstrates that you are on the right path. If there is any other advice or resource that Asking Jude can offer you, please let us know.
Sending love and support,
Helen
Hey there, Cass! If you would like to schedule sessions with one of our peer counsellors (via phone call, video call, or text), you may do so as an alternative to therapy. All you have to do is donate as little or as much as you like to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/askingjude. We will be more than willing to help you--I have suffered the trials and tribulations of OCD as well. Otherwise, I will relay your submission to Helen.