so I’ve come to realise that I have a lot of personal and mental health issues I have to work through and I was wondering if you have any advice on how to work through them? I’ve written down everything I can think of which I struggle with but do you know any techniques or questions I can ask myself so that I can come to the bottom of my behavior and actually change it?
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Hi love,
Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. I’m so proud of you for taking the steps towards bettering yourself and working through your issues. It’s great that you’ve been able to identify the problems that have been bothering you the most. A lot of people have trouble doing that. The list you made must be daunting and a lot to deal with on your own.
I believe that the best way for you to work through these behaviors and change them is to speak with a therapist. A therapist is trained to help people work through their problems and create plans to help them change or manage them. I do understand if you cannot afford to see a mental health professional. Here are some guides on therapy and affordable therapy that I think maybe helpful for you to look at:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-should-i-go-to-therapy-8-signs-its-time-to-see-a-therapist-0118197.
https://www.thecut.com/2017/12/a-beginners-guide-to-finding-the-right-therapist.html.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/a-beginners-guide-to-starting-therapy.
https://www.moneyunder30.com/affordable-therapy.
https://themighty.com/2017/08/affordable-online-therapy-cheap/.
If you aren’t able to see a therapist, that is okay. There are ways that you can partake in self-help to better yourself. Since I don’t have information on the specific problems that you are struggling with, I will do my best to give you general resources that you can read. If you feel comfortable, you can reply to this post with some things that bother you so that I can provide specific help. I can find more in-depth techniques that can help you work on fixing those behaviors. The following are some techniques and guides that I think could benefit you:
Journaling: This is a great way to work out behaviors and work through any thoughts you have. All you need a notebook and a writing utensil. Here are two guides to help you get started: https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/a-beginners-guide-to-keeping-a-journal.html https://journaltherapy.com/journal-cafe-3/journal-course/; If you need help writing, you can always look for journal prompts for specific problems.
Mindfulness: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/what-is-mindfulness.pdf.
Self-Reflection: https://positivepsychology.com/introspection-self-reflection/.
Untwist Your Thinking: https://acquia-prod.oswego.edu/counseling-services/sites/acquia-prod.oswego.edu.counseling-services/files/ten_ways_to_untwist_your_thinking.pdf.
Ingraining new behavior: https://zenhabits.net/the-habit-change-cheatsheet-29-ways-to-successfully-ingrain-a-behavior/.
In addition, the resources above, I recommend that you utilize helplines as added support. Hotlines are wonderful because they are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Here are my suggestions:
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to speak with a crisis counselor.
7 Cups of Tea: 7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com <http://www.7cups.com/> or download their app (IOS or Google Play) to create an account. Once you have, you start talking with one of their listeners on a variety of topics.
I hope that these resources are helped you. Remember that you’ve got this.
Love,
Meggan
Hi, Emily! We'll be answering you shortly.