I’m currently extremely anxious and stressed about the passage of time. I’m 19, just turned 19, and my childhood seems like it’s passed in the blink of an eye. I’m afraid life is just going to be like that. I’m having a hard time living in the moment. I think a lot of my fear has been exacerbated bc of the pandemic, and because I’m not working or doing school at the moment. So there is a lot of unstructured time to my thoughts. I hate being alone with my thoughts. I’ve realized that I’ve kind of become very clingy with my parents, and I’m also worried about when I go back to college if it’s going to be extremely isolating. I’ve thought a lot about my mental health and I think it’s not the healthiest? I think talking to someone would probably help, but I’m also afraid it won’t. Or that I’ll make the person I’m talking to stressed about my problems. My school does offer counseling services but only once classes begin again and they’ll probably only be remote. I don’t know... I think Im just stressed. And I don’t know how to fix it. But I’m hoping things will get better.
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I'm addressing this to Constantly Stressed and to Emily... I agree with the advice that Emily shared. I have to say that in my late teens and early 20s I was terrified at having to deal with life in a responsible way. My life only began when I left home at the age of 28 at the beginning of 1979. The political and social situation, here in the U.S. with the pandemic is different from what I was trying to deal with. Good luck with College!
Hi Friend,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling extra stressed and anxious lately. Although it’s never enjoyable to be going through these emotions, I want to let you know that what you are feeling is normal. Being 19 can be a stressful transitional phase in every young person’s life. Add pandemic on top of it all, and you’ve got a whole other recipe for anxiety.
I remember feeling very similar at 19. I was packing up to leave on my first completely independent summer job, and then I’d be going across the country to college. I was pretty terrified, and I’m pretty sure I even had a panic attack. I, too, wished time would slow down. I wanted to be independent, but there were so many unknowns about the future. What would my future look like? Would I be successful? Would I be happy? What about jobs, marriages, or kids? There are just so many new experiences that come with growing into adulthood. Add, pandemic or any other world stressor and your minds going to get pretty weight down.
It makes sense that you’ve been feeling extra clingy with your parents. Your mind is anxious, and you feel secure being close to them. Maybe you believe subconsciously that if you stay close, they’ll handle the things you’re too stressed about. You shouldn’t feel guilty for needing them; its what parents are for. At the same time, you do need to work through those emotions so you’re not hiding beyond your parents forever.
As far as worrying about being too isolated back at school, the best way to ward off feelings of isolation and loneliness is by getting out and helping other people. The world will never be void of people, so there will always be opportunities to make meaningful connections with others despite a pandemic. Sometimes though, we have to be the ones to initiate instead of wishing everyone would just come to us. This isn’t always easy for everyone. I am quite introverted myself. But, serving other people is what has helped me to break out of my head and get to know new people. It’s always refreshing coming home after I spent the day serving others in some facet.
I know life seems pretty dreary right now but hang in there. It does get better. Even if time never truly slows down, age and experience have a way of calming down that restless uncertainty over it. By all means, though, if you find that your anxiety seems to be more severe than you think is acceptable for the situation or substantially interfering with your life, please do reach out to a licensed counselor. You will not burden them by seeking help, and they can give you some tools to manage your anxiety better. I’ll leave some resources you may find helpful.
Counselors:
http://www.betterhelp.com
http://www.talkspace.com
http://www.psychologytoday.com
http://7cups.com
Anxiety Tips:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201807/5-truths-about-anxiety-help-you-stay-present <%22>
https://www.verywellmind.com/use-this-simple-brain-hack-to-finally-stop-worrying-2337510 <%22>
https://positivepsychology.com/present-moment/ <%22>
Meditation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-6f5wQXSu8 <%22>
https://www.headspace.com/meditation/anxiety <%22>
Stay safe,
Emily
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