Oh, @Mat Holland ! I just wanted to let you know that Asking Jude is offering pay-what-you-can live peer counselling. This is a remote peer counselling service through phone, video call, and text messaging. Our peer counsellors are all personally trained by me to handle unique and complex cases. You can choose how often you would like to meet with your counsellor as well. And as the description implies, you can pay as much (like $100) or as little (like $1) as you like as well!

If you are interested, feel free to reach out to me at jude@askingjude.org or simply respond to this thread for more details.

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out. The fact that you are concerned over your emotional well-being says a lot about what kind of person you are. You are making yourself a priority. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a challenging time. You are not alone in how you feel—a lot of people feel disconnected from certain emotions, especially after trauma. There are a number of reasons you could be feeling this way, including depression, post-traumatic stress, and grief. You said that you’d like to be able to grieve your childhood, but you may already be in that process. Here is some more information about emotional numbness and suggestions on how to cope: https://psychologydictionary.org/what-causes-emotional-numbness/.

Something that can also help is talking about your lack of feelings. You took a great first step by reaching out. Talking to your loved ones about how you’ve been feeling may help you, too. You may not want to divulge your childhood trauma, which is totally understandable. I don’t know the dynamic of your family—they may not be a safe place for you. If they are an emotional safe haven, feel free to broach the subject with them. If they are not, friends may be a safer option. Here, you can find more information on speaking with your loved ones: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/friends-family-members.

Besides this, taking care of yourself is important for staying in touch with yourself; eating regularly and getting enough sleep are just a few things that may help you recenter. Spend time with loved ones and do things that make you feel at peace like taking a walk, meditating, or listening to music. Journaling is another great option. You can start by writing about your childhood. That may help you feel more connected to your emotions. Here are some tips on how to connect with yourself: https://www.phoenixaustralia.org/recovery/helping-yourself/.

If you have a doctor, speaking to them may also help. They will know of resources in the area that can best help you. You may also use websites like https://www.psychologytoday.com to find a counselor. A counselor can be a great ally in helping you understand what you are feeling and why. Getting in touch with yourself is a long process. It may take a long time to unpack everything and process it. A counselor can be a great help in this process. If professional counseling isn't a financial option for you, Asking Jude also offers pay-what-you-can peer counseling; you can learn more by contacting jude@askingjude.org or just responding to this thread for more details.

Hang in there. You’ve got this.

Andrea

Hi, @Mat Holland ! Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. One of our peer counsellors will get back to you shortly. Until then, stay strong!