A close friend of mine is going through another depressive episode except this time I’m not sure who triggered it coz she doesn’t want me to know and I don’t understand why. But I’ve been noticing something strange lately. she keeps reassuring me that she loves me (out of the blue) even when we talk about something unrelated to me. This behaviour is making me worried for some reason. Is there an expl for this?
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Hey there,
I’m so sorry to hear that your friend is going through another depressive episode. I’m also sorry that you are feeling isolated from your friend. I have been on both sides of this, and I know that helpless feeling. You want so badly to do whatever you can to help her through this. Sometimes, the most helpful thing we can do is give our loved ones space. I know this is easier said than done. Here are some tips on how to help someone who is going through a depressive episode: https://depression.org.nz/help-someone/.
I understand that it is hard to respect your friend’s boundaries when it comes to something like this. It is difficult to accept that she may not want to talk about what the trigger is. I know it is frightening that your friend is seemingly shutting you out from this. Sometimes, people just need space to process things. Just let your friend know that you are there if and when she needs you. I know it feels like there is a lot more that you can be doing—don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Everyone deals with depressive episodes differently, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to your question. There is nothing wrong with letting someone you love know that you are concerned about them. Here are a few tips on how to approach the subject: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-someone-with-depression.htm. One of my particular favorites is saying, “I have been feeling concerned about you lately.”
It may feel like you aren’t doing enough, but you are. By simply being available to your friend, you are supporting her. Here are a few more tips on how to support a loved one who is depressed: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943. One of the best things to do is to listen to your friend. She will tell you what she needs. Also, keep in mind that you can’t “fix” how she feels. You can do your best to help her through this, but try your best not to overwhelm her and be overly-insistent on having her talk to you about what’s going on. She knows you’re there. There is a balance within all of this, and I know you can find it.
Good luck, and hang in there!
Andrea
Hello, @Leila J ! This is Jude. Thank you so much for reaching out to us! Our peer counsellor, Andrea, will get back to you shortly, Until then, stay strong!