I don't understand why I always feel like I want to stop talking or interacting with all of my friends. I just don't feel like myself whenever I am around them. They are used to seeing the weird but playful side of me, and I can't help but notice how uncomfortable I make them when I just be myself around them. I can't help but feel so disconnected from them, like we're not in zinc anymore, and I don't know how to tell them that. I have never opened up or been vulnerable around my friends, and I feel really uncomfortable at the thought of telling them that I don't really want to talk to them anymore. I have one close friend, and I feel like she's all I need. I feel like such an awful person for wanting that, especially since my friends are such warm and wonderful people. I think I'm just not emotionally available at the moment? But I've been feeling this way towards people I'm close with for years now. I think they're better off without someone as constantly shifting and drifting away like me.
What should I do?