Last year I watched one TV series and I started to like one character. He was vulnerable and sensitive guy. Then I decided to get to know the actor who played him. I searched his entire filmography, he was popular before and was in blockbusters, I didn`t watch those blockbusters, I was surprised and also I searched photos. Also I wanted to search another additional photos from his soc. media and I was shocked so much. He`s so toxic in his soc.media and loves to argue. He`s so different than his vulnerable TV character. He argued with another actor, because he wanted to take part in one film, but they didn`t accept him, that`s why he was so angry. I thought he was nice guy, and I felt discomfort inside of me. It was a little disappointment. Honestly, I am not happy that this actor appeared in my life. But I like him, he`s British actor, he looks so Nordic, because I`m interested in the Nordic countries. Sometimes he looks like a Finn, I won`t be surprised if he has Finnish ancestry. He doesn`t tell about his ancestry cause he`s a secretive man. Sorry I can`t tell his name, honestly I can`t.
He also sings songs. I don’t like the way he cries, he cried in one movie and TV series. Tears don`t suit him. Few years ago he appeared in one TV series that changed his life and he became popular, he cried a lot in this show and I didn`t like the atmosphere in this show. I felt so blue. But another main character`s tears from Mr. Robot doesn`t irritate me, sometimes I want to hug him.
I just didn`t like what he did when he was young in his acting career but two supportive roles were good. I understand that when you`re young, you`re ready for everything and it`s normal. But 5 years ago he changed himself, slightly grew up and his roles became different perhaps he started to think logically.
Also I don’t like his one fangirl, she`s very obsessed with him and idolize him, she has a husband and a child, she has watched movies, TV shows and interviews with him.
I`m so confused and really don`t know what to do with my confused feelings towards him. Maybe it`s a jealousy towards him or he touched me very much?
Thank you for coming to Asking Jude for advice. I’m sorry to hear about the conflicting feelings you are facing toward an actor you admire. It can be difficult to acknowledge the disconnect between the actor and the character(s) they play in the media.
Remember that it is okay to enjoy the role an actor plays without necessarily enjoying the actor. If being a fan of his makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you could look for others who play similar roles. Since you mentioned you are interested in actors from Nordic countries, I included a list of Scandinavian actors (I couldn’t find a list with exclusively Nordic actors) that I hope may interest you as well: https://m.imdb.com/list/ls070309864/. I also tried looking for lists of characters who fit your preferences (sensitive, vulnerable) and found a list of characters who may fit that description: https://introvertdear.com/news/4-introverted-book-and-movie-characters-who-make-me-feel-seen/
If you choose to remain a fan of his, it may help to think of this situation differently; perhaps the differences between who he is as a person and the roles he plays speaks to how good of an actor he is. You are also allowed to dislike some of his traits and disapprove of what he has done in the past. For example, you do not have to enjoy all of his works or agree with what he does on social media. After all, being a celebrity’s fan does not mean you have to be supportive of everything they do.
I also found a link that can help with identifying feelings when you’re confused. Using the PDF the website includes, perhaps you can use the exercises as a way to identify your feelings toward the actor: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/how-identify-feelings-so-you-can-deal-them
Hello from NYC! I have to ask you: Why is it that you don't want to name this actor? Can you explain? This is interesting to me. I frequently write about movies....