What do I say to people who are conscious about their weight?
They say/vent things like, "I'm so fat!", "Do I look fat?", "They say I gained..." etc. But usually they mention that they've gained weight.
I just don't know how to respond to that without hurting their feelings?
Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out about your situation. It can be difficult to navigate because there are a lot of different opinions and perspectives on this subject, so it can be challenging to know how to respond. While there is no single “right” or “wrong” answer, here are some tips on how to help a friend who may be struggling with body image: https://www.colorado.edu/health/2022/02/01/how-help-friend-body-image.
Unfortunately, you are going to hurt feelings from time to time—especially when you are being honest. There is a difference, however, in being honest and being brutal. There is a way to be honest, while remaining kind. You do not have to choose between the two. Here are some tips on how to be honest without being brutal: https://www.hrfuture.net/talent-management/wellness/how-to-be-honest-without-being-brutal/. Something that stuck out to me from this article is stating your opinion as an opinion. Make sure to emphasize that it is solely your opinion you are stating, not the ultimate truth. Your friend will understand that everything you say is from a place of love and you only have the best intentions.
The next time your friend says something negative or critical about themselves, they may be looking for support and reassurance. Listen without judgement, and ask questions to get them to elaborate. Try to understand why they may feel the way they do about their body. Here are some tips on how to be supportive: https://www.montana.edu/oha/blog/mind_blogs/how-to-help-friend-struggling-with-body-image.html. Contemporary society has placed unrealistic expectations around body image and physical appearances, including weight, skin, height, etc., and recent generations are often unsatisfied with their bodies as a result. No one feels 100-percent content with their body all the time, and that is okay. Also, keep in mind that, sometimes, you may not say the "perfect" thing. It is all okay. Try your best to keep the communication open, and let your friend know that you are not sure what to say at times, but that everything you say is because you love them.
Good luck,
Andrea