I turn 20 next month and I feel conflicted by it. I start uni in October and I feel like I’m not anywhere close to feeling like a 20 year old . I feel like time is running out and I’m behind. I feel this weird sense that I need to make this summer last, but it’s almost over. Life is just weird right now and the idea that soon I won’t be a teenager anymore is scary. I don’t feel far from the idea of being a teenager, and I don’t feel anyway close to the idea of being a real adult. Any advice?
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Yes, if Anonymous feels comfortable, they can absolutely give an update or if they feel that they still need help they can always create another post. Thank you so much for commenting and giving your input!
Teenagers have had to deal with this predicament for decades -- and now, with the current political and social situation, it's got to be a really strange situation, so it's really good that anonymous asked for help. It would be really good if anonymous lets everyone at Asking Jude know how it turned out...
Hello Drew! I am so sorry for my very late reply! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. That is a wonderful observation! I didn't even think about that. There are a lot of different societies out there, but American society seems to rely heavily on competing with our peers and their accomplishments. I do hope that Anonymous was able to speak their parents or another trusted adult about this as well.
Hey, Meggan! Thank you for the work that you do... One thing that Anonymous' 'ask' touches on is competition. Competition is a huge part of the society that we all live in. I hope Anonymous talks to his or her parents about this...
Thank you for contacting Asking Jude. I’m 22, and it wasn’t that I went through something similar to you. Turning 20 was a big thing for me. I felt so old. Up until a year ago, I felt like I had to have my life together. However, we’re not supposed to have our lives figured out left. It’s okay to feel lost and confused. It’s okay not to know what being a real adult is like yet. You’re young, and you’re still figuring out how to navigate the world on your own. You are not behind and running out of time. That’s just a made-up thing by society.
Life isn’t a race or competition. It’s okay to take your time and have setbacks. There is no set time to have a career, kids, marriage, etc. You still have time, okay? Remind yourself of these things, and please don’t compare yourself to your peers. Their lives are not yours. Their successes don’t outshine yours. And remember, they’re struggling too, even if they don’t seem like it.
20 is a weird age. It’s okay to be scared about getting older. You get hit with the overwhelming sense that you’re getting old, and you feel like you’re losing a part of your youth even though you’re not. You’re just entering the next stage of your life. Over time, you will feel comfortable with your age. It won’t happen right away, but it will happen. I found these articles that have excellent advice that I think that you will find very helpful:
In addition to the resources above, I recommend that you reach out to your friends because I’m sure that they’re going through something similar. Make sure to talk to your parents or another trusted adult who can help you transition into your new life role. If you are more comfortable, you can reach out to helplines for support. Hotlines are fantastic resources for people looking for guidance because they are free, confidential, and available 24/7. Here are my suggestions:
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741 to speak with a crisis counselor.
7 Cups of Tea: Visit www.7cups.com or download their app (IOS or Google Play) to create an account. Once you have, you can start chatting with a trained volunteer or attend group sessions on numerous issues.
CONTACT Helpline offers emotional support listening- Call 800-932-4616 to speak with a counselor.
Remember that you are not alone. This fear and strangeness will pass with time. Your life is what you make it, no matter how long it takes. It is your own, and you will still be you, just with different responsibilities. You will get through this. Don’t think about turning 20 as your life-ending, but as the next chapter. If you need any more support, please don’t hesitate to come back to Asking Jude.
P.S check out Asking Jude’s YouTube channel at www.youtube.com/c/AskingJude for helpful videos.