hey do you have some tips or coping mechanisms I can use, I’ve been having some pretty bad mood swings recently and my identity issues feel like they’ve just been getting worse. I was basically euphoric and hyped an energized a few days ago, then almost numb until now and I feel like screaming and crying and on the verge of a breakdown. I feel like the parts of my identity have been almost drifting further and further away from each other and I already don’t feel like I have a core or center for my identity anyway, it feels more like floating scattered parts with no way to unite. Honestly any advice would be appreciated, thank you, and sorry if this is messy, as you can tell I’m not feeling great.
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Hey love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I am sorry that you are navigating this difficult situation; mood swings often make people feel stressed and out of control, which can be extremely overwhelming. I would recommend speaking to a therapist. Therapy may sound intimidating and intense, but talking to a mental health professional with an objective viewpoint on the situation will help you process and organize your thoughts. Unprocessed emotions tend to exacerbate mood swings, but a therapist can provide you with coping mechanisms to deal with them and your sense of unease surrounding your identity.
Here is a link for a resource to find therapists near you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists.
If you feel unsure about therapy, I would also recommend tracking your emotions and mood swings through journaling. You can write down everything you’re feeling at the moment and what you believe is causing those feelings. Having your thoughts physically written down will help you recognize what triggers certain negative emotions, which can help you process them when they appear in the future. When you have identified some recurring triggers, try to avoid the situations that caused them. For example, if you were around a certain person, in a certain place, or doing a certain thing when the negative emotions began, try to avoid those things going forward, if possible.
There are many different ways to journal, but the stream-of-consciousness method is particularly effective because you do not have to worry about proper grammar or punctuation. Here is an article that discusses journaling and its benefits in greater detail: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=.
In addition to journaling, try putting aside time for self-care and doing things that bring you joy. You could try painting, drawing, reading, listening to music, walking outside for fresh air, or talking with friends and family, to name a few examples. Unwinding and decompressing looks different for everyone, but anything you can do to clear your mind will improve your focus and mental health. Self-care also relates to physically taking care of yourself, which includes going to bed at the same time each night, maintaining a predominantly well-balanced diet, and adhering to an exercise routine (even if it’s just going on a walk occasionally). It is also important that you stay in touch with close friends and family; having a strong support system is important to have while navigating difficult situations. Self-care can feel daunting or unnecessary at times, but your physical and mental health will reap the long-term benefits.
I have provided a link that contains additional information on mood swings and how to cope with them: https://familypsychnj.com/2018/09/tips-managing-mood-swings/.
Society places significant pressure on people to have a strong sense of identity from an early age, which is harmful and unrealistic; everyone’s journey is unique, and there is no objectively correct or superior way to experience life. It may seem impossible at the moment, but this uncertainty that you feel towards your sense of identity will not last forever. Having confidence in your identity takes time and effort, so please remember to be patient with yourself. You are strong and will get through this.
I hope some of this information was helpful. Please feel free to reach out to Asking Jude again if you have any further questions.
Love,
Jordan <3