Hey there,

Losing a loved one is always difficult to heal from. Your pet, Sam, has been with you and your sisters for a long time and became a special member of your family. One of my closest friend’s dog passed away a few months ago and some of the things she did that helped her cope was: holding a ceremony, practicing healthy and calming exercises, and volunteering at an animal shelter.

You can hold a ceremony for Sam and invite your close friends and family to be a part of it. During the ceremony, you can all share precious memories of Sam, which can help you feel supported by your loved ones. Holding a ceremony for Sam with your sisters can give you all the chance to say some final words about mend.

In addition to holding the ceremony, I encourage you to take some time to yourself to slow down and practice various healthy and calming exercises such as: journaling, meditating, and going out for walks/hikes. Journaling can help with processing feelings, and you can do this by jotting down anything particularly interesting that happened each day. Journaling is a great activity to do because you can write anything you feel like writing, draw pictures, etc. You can also try meditating with relaxing music or background noise for 10 minutes each morning. During these meditations, try breathing exercises, reflecting on the past week, making goals, etc. To be more active, you can go outdoors as much as you can (and do things like walking or hiking) which can give you more energy and allow you to feel productive. These activities exercise the body and mind, which can be beneficial in coping with the passing of your pet.

Volunteering may be beneficial as well. My friend did not begin volunteering at an animal shelter immediately after her dog’s death. Going outside and seeing other people interact with their pets made her emotional and feel detached from the world. However, after some time had passed, filling her time up with helping animals has made her feel happy and fulfilled. Of course, you should not feel pressured to volunteer at an animal shelter unless you want to. Doing this is not something everyone is compelled to do, and that’s okay. Take each day slowly step by step and allow yourself to move on.

After losing Sam, you should not feel the need to replace him. Give yourself and your sisters time to heal before making the decision to take care of a new pet. Although the house might be quiet and empty, you might end up resenting your new pet because you want them to be the new Sam. When you’re ready, you and your sisters can decide if getting a new pet is in your best interests. I hope this helps, and here are some additional resources you can look at in the meantime:

https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/coping-death-your-pet

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201905/coping-the-loss-your-pet

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-losing-a-pet.htm

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/losing-a-pet-dealing-with-grief/

Best,

Jennie

Hi, Sophie! This is Jude. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such pain. Our peer counsellor, Jennie, will get back to you shortly. Until then, stay strong!

Sophie23, a Peer counselor will be able to help you. In my life, I had no difficulty with any of the memories I had regarding a French Poodle that the Simels family had for approimately five years, followed by a tri-color cat that we had upwards of ten years. Everyone is different. A Peer Counselor will help you...

Sophie23, I'm a member, here, at Asking Jude, not a peer counselor. And I am sharing this, just for the sake of being honest. My father was a Veterinarian and the first job I had was working for him. I don't know what kind of an animal you are referring to. A peer counselor will get back to you...