this is random, but i’m not sure where else to put it i wish there was more tips on how to stop being toxic. there’s so many things about how to get away from toxic people, but i just- i understand where people come from when they are? i used to be toxic and i didn’t have any help when i was trying not to be, and i’m always worried i secretly am and what not. i just feel there would be less toxic people if they were helped instead of shut away by everyone (this may be controversial sorry ;w;)
Hey there,
Thank you for taking the time to reach out and I’ll do my best to provide some help! Not a lot of people will admit to their toxic behaviors so it’s really admirable that you can say that and want to change. Here is an exercise that you can adapt:
1. Acknowledge your toxicity; Begin by observing how you react/judge others. Make a list of ten people in your life with five that you admire and five that you dislike. Jot down one characteristic of each person that you like/dislike. Review the list and ask which of these traits do you ignore or don’t want to see in yourself. Doing this might seem superficial or make you feel horrible for listing all the terrible traits in the people in your life. However, this step will help you envision what qualities you want that are healthy for you and the people in your life.
2. Yay or Nay; Next, list down all of things you are proud of and what you are good at. Now make a list of things you need to work on and are not good at. Do this step without judging yourself. Instead, think about it as a pros and cons list and understand that everyone has flaws and need help in some area of their life. Doing this step might seem dangerous to your mental health and your list can end up with a lot more cons than pros. But being aware of your good and bad qualities and seeing it right before you shows how much you know yourself and what is right for you.
3. Start small; Build up some healthy habits in your daily life. This includes doing some exercises, making your own food, cleaning your room, etc. Building positive habits is not easy. You have to start small, build momentum, make mistakes, get up again, and do it all over again your whole life. Toxicity is your opponent and it’s going to take your strength and determination to beat it. Being the best version of yourself all the time does seem like an impossible challenge but it is possible! The more you feed the good the more it will come naturally.
4. Make peace with your flaws; Learn to love and accept yourself including all of the bad. Know that your flaws are a part of you and help make up who you are. You can’t run or hide from it. At the end of the day, you have to aim for the person you want to be instead of what others expect you to become. Hating and doubting yourself will only make you go into an endless cycle of toxicity. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
I hope this helps and here are some additional information and articles that you can read:
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-24146/i-stopped-being-a-toxic-person-heres-how.html
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/10156/am-i-toxic/
https://www.bustle.com/p/11-habits-that-make-you-a-happier-less-toxic-person-5488920
https://medium.com/swlh/10-ways-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-a23186472677
Best wishes,
Jennie
Anonymous doesn't share about his or her background. I immediately thought of various jobs I have had over the years. There were many toxic individuals with whom I worked...
I have as well. It's a real shame...
It just occurred to me that anonymous is on to something important. If someone is working at a job and a co-worker is repeatedly behaving in a negative way, then the non-toxic person should try to get their co-worker to look at themselves from another person's point of view. This would be an improvement -- for the work place and it would be a way to improve communication in general in a given society. Whoever 'anonymous' is? Good for them! And I'm glad that I am no longer working...