Hey, Ik this may sound kinda silly but although I have a small group of amazing friends at times I kind of feel inferior to people who are popular who constantly go to parties and hang out with loads of people. I don’t know I never felt like this before it was just a small thought that kinda grew you know? It never even crossed my mind before, but I was wondering if it’s normal to feel this way? I’m just a bit confused I feel like I’m losing sight of who I actually am, do you have any advice ?x
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Logical question to ask: Is Anonymous able to hang out with any of anonymous' group of friends away from the internet -- i.e., in 'real life'?
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. Movies, television, and social media can sometimes make it seem like everyone has a massive group of friends, and that can pressure you into feeling like you do not have enough. That is often not the case. A wise person once said quality is more important than quantity and nowhere is this truer than when it comes to friendships. Having a smaller group of friends that you can rely on is much better than having a large group of friends you can’t trust.
Lots of people love to have heaps of friends. I used to be a bit like that, but as my friends and I got older we grew into different people and life got a bit too busy. Try not to focus on the friends you don’t have; instead, tell yourself that all you need are quality best friends – and you’ve already got those. On the outside, it may appear fun to be in a large friend group. However, at the end of the day, it's easier to form bonds with fewer people, and you will develop more meaningful, lifelong friendships with a small group of friends who know you better than you know yourself.
Life isn’t always about partying, going out in big groups and doing adventurous things. I mean, if that’s what genuinely makes you happy, that’s great! But don’t just do it to try and fit in with someone else. Social media can sometimes make you feel like you’re missing out on something if you don’t have a raging social life. You can always make a large group of friends but its harder to find a small group of friends who genuinely care and support you. If you live in a dorm, I advise you to hang out in the lounge areas so you can find and talk to people who share common interests. You can also try going to clubs that interest you and participate in social events. Going to clubs allows you to find common grounds and meet new people to make friends in the process. Being part of a social group is the easiest way to meet new people and make friends.
Once you involve yourself more with your inner circle of friends, the next step will be to extend to people you don’t know. Throughout history, people make friends over meals. I advise you to go to dinners or parties and talk to people while eating. Introducing yourself to others by talking over meals allows you to share your ideas and interests. You can also try attending study groups or meeting up with people in your class to do homework and study. Try making friends by getting yourself out there. Join meetup groups, clubs, volunteering, etc.
Furthermore, you can try using online friendship apps to make online friends. Making friends online takes patience and persistence, but it’s quite easy to do. Start by finding people who share your interests so that you’ll have something to talk about right away. Then, get to know them better by talking with them online and in-person. As you get to know the person better, make sure to avoid common pitfalls that may derail the friendship. Keep yourself safe by not sharing personal information and by taking special precautions if you ever meet in person. This link provides you with some information about online apps if you want to use this approach; https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/g27286691/apps-to-make-friends/
Overall, there is nothing wrong with wanting more friends, but do not be pressured into it. Appreciate the small group of friends you have and extend out your circle. So what I would suggest is, talk to everyone but be with the ones who make you feel at home and like you belong.
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Hope this helps,